I'm holding on - Noel Gallagher

Chapter 13

We managed to make our way backstage to find the boys. It didn't take long for us to find them, knackered by the side of the stage but still joking as always. Tom spotted me first and stood up with a huge grin on his face.

"Like your surprise, Ads?" I nodded my head as I went up to him with a hug, I could tell by his face he didn't expect it but after all that happened today I needed it.

"Thank you Tom, all of you! It was great!" They all smiled and Tom held onto me, giving me a tight squeeze to show his appreciation.

"Alright Noel, d'ya like our set?" Tom said as I quickly broke off our hug, getting the feeling it wasn't great to be so close to him just after Noel and I had our fight.

"Uh...yeah, yes you guys were great." He looked kind of deflated and nervous, he probably thinks I'd tell Anaïs or Sara but I never would.

"Cheers mate, guess we've learnt a thing or two from touring with you guys! You're up in a bit, aren't ya?" Tom said, trying to strike up a chat.

"Yeah, we're just getting set up. Should be a good gig plus we'll be at the hotel in time for match of the day! It's a win,win!" The boys started chatting about football and to be honest I wasn't feeling up to it.

Naï and I started our own conversation on what we wanted to see while we were here. I tried so hard to concentrate on what she was saying but with the constant looks I was getting, it was near impossible.

"I'll be back in a sec Naï, I need some water." I got up and went on the hunt for a vending machine or a fridge. Where would they be? It can't be that hard to find some water at a gig, surely the acts needed it. Oh bingo! Dressing rooms were full of them! The boys had tons in their room so I took one for me and Naï, just incase and headed back to her.

On my way, I noticed someone coming out of the dressing room opposite. I sighed angrily and just kept walking until my arm was grabbed, stopping me in my tracks.

"Can we talk about what happened before, please?" He tried to hold my hand but I just pulled away and crossed my arms.

"I'm really not in the mood right now Noel and you need to be on stage in about 5 minutes." I turned to walk away again but he moved in front of me and I was blocked.

"I know but I can't go on stage knowing you're mad at me Addy!"

"Gee, I wonder who's fault that is! I can't believe you've said all that crap to me and expect me to just be fine with it! Just fuck off back to your wife and your perfect family because God knows you don't deserve them!"

"Woah woah woah, where's all this coming from? I know I've upset you but you know I care about you too Adelaide otherwise I wouldn't be risking everything for you!" He looked confused like he truly didn't understand why I was bringing them up but I couldn't help it. Why in the world would he risk his life for me? They were so amazing and kind, they even made me feel like family when mine weren't around. It was all so messed up!

"I don't want you to risk everything for me, you shouldn't have to! I should've just stayed away from you then I wouldn't be hurting anyone! There's no point to this anyway, you don't trust me, you said so yourself and you could never love me like you love Sara! And I know I could never live with myself if I broke this family apart!" I just kept ranting, it felt good to say everything that was crammed in my head.

"This was never planned, we never meant to hurt anyone! We both know this means something and you can't speak for me when you say I can't love you like I love Sara because I can honestly say that I do! I know I've fucked everything up but whatever's meant to happen, will. Just tell me you forgive me and we can go back to how things were, I didn't mean it when I said those things to you before, I was just angry!" He came closer and brought me into a hug. I let him hold me for a few seconds before I pulled away.

"I do forgive you but I think whatever this was is over now. It's like you said, if it was meant to be then things will work out but I truly believe you'd be happier with Sara, Anaïs and the boys than me."

"That's not true, we can make it work somehow Ads I promise. We're not gonna be happy without each other!"

"Maybe this is what we need. Who knows, I might find myself some normal boy who has no wife and no kids, not complicated at all."

"What? Someone like Tom, you mean! It'd barely been five minutes after our fight and you were all over him!" His eyes turned icy and he just looked at me with anger and jealousy.

"Here we go again! You know what, maybe I do like Tom and maybe he'd actually be good for me! He treats me well and I'm not his second choice!"

"You're not mine either, Ads! I'll choose you if that's what you want but I know you'd never agree to it. You've got such a good heart Adelaide that you'd put others happiness before your own! Tom doesn't deserve you and there's no way I'd let him near you!"

"Well it's not up to you anymore, is it? You know what, this conversation is over. There are thousands of people out there and you're due on stage. Don't fuck it up, Noel." And with that I left.

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Damn I've just realised it's been about 2 months since I've posted! Sorry about that! I hope you've enjoyed for anyone who still reads this, thanks guys! Xx