I'm holding on - Noel Gallagher

Chapter 14

I'm not going to lie and tell you Noel's set wasn't amazing because it was. It made me forget about our fight. I was out there with my best friend and my five new friends I've found along this tour and it was pure happiness. The crowd was incredible as always and my focus was entirely on having a good time. I forgot all about every single problem I had and just let loose, this is what I needed! I was just one person out of thousands and the music calmed me.

But all good things must come to an end and the familiar Beatles tune 'all you need is love' was slowly but surely coming to a close. At this point Anaïs, the boys and I were swaying back and forth with out arms wrapped around each other in a line belting out the words to the song. It was euphoric and I could sense the calm before the storm or at least the unavoidable awkward tension I'd be faced with for the rest of the tour. I debated going home but where the fuck would I go? My home wasn't exactly a great place and I sure wasn't going to ask Sara if I could stay with her and the kids while Naï is away. I considered her mum Meg but again, I'd hate to ask while she's on tour. It wouldn't feel right. Oh fuck, what am I going to do? I don't think I can stay here, me and Noel can't keep doing this. I know it isn't right and I just need to stop it before it goes too far. Being around him 24/7 sure isn't going to help either.

By this point I'm backstage again, ready to go back to the hotel. We all squeeze into the van with the exception of a few high flying birds, Josh and Charlie who are in another van going down the pub for a quick pint before heading back too. It's one of those that have seats on either side so we're facing each other which doesn't help my situation at all. Noel's avoided eye contact for most of the drive apart from a couple occasions when I look up and we catch eyes before I have to look down again. I can't do this.

I turn to Anaïs and whisper in her ear "I think I'm gonna go home tonight."

She turns to me in horror and says, rather loud might I add, "you can't, we've just got here Addy!"

Then of course  Tom chips in, "what's that?"

"It's nothi..." I start,

"Addy wants to go home! Tell her she can't Tom!" I'm going to kill her when we get into our room. At this, Noel turns his head and gives me that pitiful look he gives me whenever he doesn't want someone to do something. I roll my eyes unintentionally and get greeted with a scowl. This is all I need.

"Aww come on Ads! Why'd you wanna go home? I thought we were having fun!" Tom leans forward and his brows crease, confused. I open my mouth but am soon stopped when the van stops and Noel practically jumps out and rushes into the hotel. Great, now I have to decide whether or not I should talk to him before I go.

"We did have fun but I'm just not up to it. Sorry guys." I get out and head into the hotel too. I go straight up to my room,making sure I still have the key and start to pack my things. Well that was until Anaïs came in, slamming the door.

"I don't get it! You've been wanting to go on tour for ages Ads and now you want to go home!"

"Yep."

"WHAT! WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT!? WHERE ARE YOU GONNA GO?!"

"I don't know yet, I'll probably just stay at mine for a bit."

"WHY? WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU WANT TO?!"

"I'm just tired and homesick Naï."

"HOMESICK. ARE YOU HAVING A LAUGH? THAT PLACE IS HARDLY A HOME! NO ONE CARES FOR YOU IN THAT PLACE! HOW CAN YOU MISS IT?"

"I just do and my dad'll be at Vanessa's anyway so it's not like I'm setting myself up for a beating."

"Have you heard yourself Addy! You shouldn't be anywhere near him and there's no way in hell i'm letting you go there when I'm half the world away!"

I try not to laugh at the horrible pun but I can't help it and I let out a little chuckle.

"Oh fuck off Addy it's not funny!" She sits down on the bed and huffs before grabbing her clothes and stuffing them into her suitcase.

"What are you doing?"

She turns to look at me and frowns as if it's obvious. "Well if your going back home, you're staying at our house and I'm coming with you."

"No Anaïs! You're staying here!"

She scoffs. "Yeah right, we can decide if we're staying at mums or dads when we get on the flight but it'll probably be Sara picking us up because mums got that event tomorrow."

"No Naï, you're not listening to me. You're not coming. You've been excited for this tour for ages!"

"Well so have you but for some stupid reason you want to go back to that godforsaken place! I'm trying to understand why Ads but I just can't, talk to me!"

"I'm just not enjoying it as much as I thought I would!"

"Well why is that? Is it Tom? Has he done something Addy because if he has, you just have to say and he'll be off this tour!"

"I appreciate you looking out for me Naï but Tom's done nothing wrong, he's been nothing but sweet."

"Then who is it Addy! Something's happened, I know it has!"

"Nothing has happe..." The knock at the door shook me but Anaïs seemed to welcome it as if she wanted backup.

"I know when you're lying Addy so don't bullshit me!" She said as she swung open the door dramatically.

"Oh good! Dad you need to talk to Addy, tell her she can't leave!"

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Wow ok! So it's been a while but I'm hoping to get another chapter out this weekend!