I Need Your Euphoria⇿ NamBTS

- Lust VS Love -

Genre : idek Angst(?)

Pairing : NamGi

Based on one of my prompts from PROMPT SHACK. Might have done some improv.

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Yoongi hadn't been feeling quite himself lately. Not when it comes to him and his adorable excuse of a boyfriend, Namjoon.

Things were not as jubilant or jovial and exciting as he remembered it used to be; yet he couldn't put a finger where.

They had everything. Everything that counts, at least. Steady income from both sides -- with his wage as a composer and Namjoon's healthy pay from his publication's monthly royalty, money wasn't the obvious problem.

They also had good corporation between themselves. Less on the arguing and more on the tolerating, if it ever comes down to that. Communication skills is all it takes, both men had come to notice.

And no, Yoongi could never imagine having a third party ruining things for this relationship because he knew neither of them had it in him to ever cheat or go behind each other's backs for somebody else -- they weren't like that. Namjoon wasn't like that.

'So what is it?' he'd caught himself pondering one night, lazing about the spacious wine-red loveseat in their den with his porcelain sets of feet exposed and free-to-see underneath his white robe, all tangled with a mini-towel around his next after that amazing, life-changing afterwork shower.

He loves Namjoon. Of course, that goes without saying because why else would he spend the past three years tied to a promise he could easily break? Yoongi stayed because he wanted a life with the younger, because Namjoon made him feel like the best man in this world has ever lived. Because he made him feel mattered -- and that itself speaks a lot.

However, the patent and huge elephant in the room was undoubtedly whether or not Namjoon feels the same way. It's a little bit hard to guess, with how well everything between them was going, there's no telling if any thorn was actually embedded in someone. Namjoon looked happy and content enough as it is, shouldn't that have passed for a credible self-assurance anyhow?

A loud screech from their unlubed door's hinge jolted the dazed Yoongi away from his reverie -- Namjoon was finally home from work.

"Hey, welcome back." Yoongi etched a thin grin to greet the taller but hadn't been too surprised to see Namjoon not reciprocating back with a dimple-carved smile; he understood how energy-draining his job as an editor could be sometimes, he lets Namjoon be.

"Yeah," was what the younger had replied with instead.

"How's your day?" Yoongi prodded. His eyes followed intently as Namjoon traipsed taxingly from the front door, lumping his coat and briefcase aside by the corrider along the way, and made his way towards Yoongi.

"As usual. I hated it."

"I can see that. Maybe I can make it better?" He shifted away from the comfort of the warming couch and positioned himself straighter against the cushion, welcoming his lover back with wide opened arms.

Namjoon complied -- he paced forward, eager and brash, falling into Yoongi's embrace and immediately took a long whiff of the older's sweet, punget scent along his exposed neck (it was the lavender body soap he'd bought for their last anniversary, it smelled heavenly).

That ginger and zephyr-like gesture was not meant to be aggravating in any way -- despite that, a switch had promptly triggered in both of their heads.

Everything happened so quick and jarring and so much with ardour -- neither of them had grasped the chance to think it through before falling into their usual and behavioural routine; a kiss. Yet, not the faint and cute type of peck you'd normally have as a greeting after a long day of tiring shenanigans. Rather, it was messy and instantly reeking of overflowing hormones -- hands roaming across skin and more skin, breathings uneven and all that they could hear were the deafening boomings in their eardrums -- their lips were all over the place, for God's sake.

And then it just clicked for Yoongi,

'Ah, so this is it, huh?'

It all makes sense now. It's not like before this everything was peachy keen between them nor was it hopelessly broken too -- but there was this tiny inkling of oddness sitting on top of this whole ordeal (Yoongi means their relationship and did not meant to sound so formal about it).

The thing is, even he finds it weird that sex is almost mandatory on a daily basis -- literally, crucial.

Woke up in the morning earlier by 5 minutes away from the alarm? No problem, they fuck under the sheets anyway.

Got some leftover time after breakfast? A little quickie to kill the time.

Short lunch hours got in the way even when they work conviniently close to each other? Hey, that's cool. Phone sex is a thing now.

And don't even bother mentioning their sessions after office hours -- it gets really crazy and just all sorts of freaky; Yoongi didn't want to believe it was real.

Alas, that was the truth of the matter. They had so much -- if not, too much sex, as painful as it sounds.

Yoongi didn't think of it much as an issue. A problematic issue anyway. Although within the past few months he's had a lot of thinking done and mayhaps, some second thoughts has been made.

Reality reeled him back in, with Namjoon beckoning aloud for his boyfriend to focus again. Somehow along the way, he had forgotten that he and the younger was in the middle of making out. His jaw grew slack and the grip encircled around Namjoon's nape laxed into a looser grasp. Namjoon noticed it all too clearly.

"Yoongi-hyung?" He called again. Worried that he might've done something unfavourable, he too detached himself farther but still kept a calming hand over the older's chest. "Are you okay?"

Yoongi wasn't listening, though. And he wasn't okay. Now that he's really thought about it, none of this was okay. Yoongi didn't exactly expect the epiphany to hit him hard on the face (now out of all times!) -- but God, had Namjoon even loved him all this time? Was their established 'boyfriend-boyfriend' thing based on mutual feelings afterall? Hell, was Namjoon using him -- baiting him into feeling like the universe's most blissed out loser? Just for a good fuck?

The elder felt pathethic then. As if massive shards of shattered glass had decided to rain it down on him, hitting him right in the heart with a final blow -- a small sliver in him was smart enough to consider the rational possibilities.

Maybe it is a serious thing. Maybe they should talk it through because maybe -- just maybe -- this will affect them later on and possibly fester to something much more than just an idle thought. Maybe he'll lose Namjoon. Maybe it'll all turn to ash. Maybe things won't work out.

Just the mere implications of it was petrifying enough to knock him out from sheer anxiety.

But for now, Yoongi settled for ignorance and ushered his now-pouting lover to inch in closer, as if there was anymore space to fill. He figured this might go away soon; that if it is allowed, God will cut him some slack and just whisk everything off with a shrug. Things will eventually get better, he hoped. He prayed.

Yoongi smiled, albeit not as sweet as before and bloomed out his arms once more, coercing the younger man to him again. His slender fingers placed chaste trails and barely sensible all over Namjoon's scathing cheek, enjoying the gradually flagrant heat spreading across his palm.

"Come on, darling. Let's take this to the bedroom."

And he whispered one last time, more to himself than for Namjoon to hear,

'We'll be alright.'

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Boom i updated