Golden Arrow Reviews

Review #3: Silent

Reviewer: taz2327
Story: Silent by lovetop101

The very first thing I noticed when I begun to read your story was instead of telling the reader. Show the reader. The main character is hated by everyone but to make the reader angry about it show them. Show what happens to her and go into depth about the emotions attached to it.

I see that your story is unedited so I will leave all comments about grammar and spelling aside.

❤Cover
Your cover is beautiful and really conveys the "demons" in your story. It catches my attention.

❤Description
I would revise it and try to make it show what happens in the story without giving major details. But keep what you already have because it's great. I just feel I want more.

❤Plot
Your plot is well done and we'll throughout. Make sure to know where each scenes goes and what you want to happen.

❤Character Development
I feel bad for your main character but she  is so blunt!! She tells you things "don't bother" her "she couldn't face her parents" at the funeral. Maybe she could wake up in a cold sweet dreaming about her parents. It could show what happens with emotion and make the reader feel remorse.

❤Notes
Okay so when you write just remember to explain what's happening a little better. Sometimes you leave out where she is or skip things.

As a writer you are very good but just remember that you can always take it outside of the box with whatever you do. Just take this with as a grain of salt but you can always make this story unique and your own somehow. Don't think to much about it but being unpredictable can make a story more interesting.

Your dialogue is very good but just make sure that you don't rush it. Maybe say it outloud before writing. Then listening to see if it sounds like something someone would say.

In my opinion the cover, description, spelling and grammatical matter. All that matters is your story and you've got an amazing story here!!

Your story pulls the heart string for me and I HOPE and pray this isn't based on a true story. You did a beautiful job writing and I can tell you've really put your heart into this story. Pm me if you need anything more or have any questions. I'm so excited to finish this story and give my imput. If you'd like I can comment throughout :)