Golden Arrow Reviews

Review #22: Drug

Reviewer: _RoseThorn_

Story: “drug. mark lee” by softkyuu
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✿ Cover ✿

I like that the covers for all your books have a similar aesthetic. One thing I would suggest for your cover would be to increase the font of the title because it is barely visible. If you’re looking for a new graphic, there are tons of cover shops who can make you a new cover free of charge.

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✿ Summary ✿

The fact that the summary is quite short and mysterious can cause readers to become intrigued and want to read the book in order to get answers to some of the questions they may have. On the other hand, I find that the summary doesn't give enough information about the plot to really draw me in. There's nothing wrong with short summaries at all, but I’d suggest giving potential readers a little more information so that they don't lose interest and end up overlooking your book before even giving it a chance. Added to this, I've noticed that tons of books have summaries that begin with the phrase, ”In which...” So if you’re looking to avoid cliches and make your book stand out, (especially since Fanfiction is such a popular genre) you may want to look into changing that up.

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✿ Grammar, Spelling and Vocabulary ✿

Since you did say the lowercase is intentional, I won’t point that out as a grammatical issue, although I’m quite curious as to why you chose to use only lowercase letters. You don’t have any issues with spelling and the grammar is fine for the most part aside from a couple little errors here and there. The vocabulary used in this story is fairly simple. Normally, I would see that as a major issue, but because your story is mainly dialogue, it makes sense to have commonly used words. Despite this, I would still suggest incorporating a more detailed vocabulary if you have the chance because interesting words always improve stories and make them more refined.
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✿ Characters ✿

I can see that Kwon Shinae is a caring, selfless, and supportive person who wants to help Mark however she can. Meanwhile, Mark seems very secretive and closed-off. Lots of people, including myself, really enjoy a good angsty character. However, there isn't much information about the characters or their development, considering the story is mainly dialogue. Perhaps slipping a little detail into the dialogue that will describe your characters a little better right from the start would be something you might want to consider.

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✿ Plot ✿

The way you moved the plot along by using dialogue was pretty interesting. Mark’s constant denial paired with Shinae’s determination to help added a nice element of drama to the story. I enjoyed the longer chapters that had more than just dialogue in them, however, there was a major lack of detail throughout the story. It's important to describe your characters, settings, and what is happening in general so that the story is more like an actual book. Details also keep readers intrigued and I can’t emphasize how crucial they are. The way you chose to end the story was great because you tricked readers into believing that Shinae woke up at the end of the second last chapter but instead, we find out that she didn’t survive. I loved the tragic, yet bittersweet ending because it didn’t follow the cliche where the character ends up waking up and everyone lives happily ever after. I also liked that you didn't give the tragic fate to Mark because it would have been too predictable, taking into account his personal struggles throughout the book. Giving that fate to Shinae was a good plot twist and it really affirmed her selfless nature.

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✿ Other Notes ✿

Overall, this book was unique and I haven’t really seen anything similar. You managed to tell the story with short and simple chapters that made sense for the most part. With a little fixing up, I’m sure you could make this book so much better.

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