Golden Arrow Reviews

Review#33: Last

Reviewer: _RoseThorn_ (Royal blood 1)” by @TheShadowEmpress
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✿Title/Cover ✿

The background graphic for this book gives off a great fantasy feel. I like the blue colour theme and how it makes the whole cover appear more uniform. However, the colour used for the title breaks this uniformity a Little big, as it sort of looks likes it has been slapped on top of the background image. Perhaps blending the title into the graphic more by playing around with the font and colour could be helpful. Apart from this, I suggest editing your title to “Last (Royal Blood: One)” instead of “Last (Royal blood 1)” since this appears more correct and similar to the titles seen in professional novels.
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✿ Summary ✿

The summary of your book is pretty interesting overall. There are a number of issues with grammar, such as a few sentences you separated with periods instead of commas. Also, there are some missing commas throughout, so a bit of revision would be very helpful. I loved the last line or the summary and the part “every soul must taste war” was a perfect way to get readers hooked.
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✿ Grammar, Spelling, and Vocabulary ✿

Again, I noticed that you separate sentences incorrectly very often with periods instead of using commas or em dashes as required. The actual word choices in each sentence are amazing and I believe that with this comma issue sorted out, the flow of the book could be so much better and a lot less choppy. You don’t have any issues with spelling or vocabulary, though. Once again, it would be wise to sort those grammatical errors. There was a part in the first chapter where you switched from third-person narration to first-person narration out of nowhere as well. Added to that, you should end your dialogue pieces with a comma when they are followed by a dialogue tag (for example: she said, she responded, he shouted, etc.). If the dialogue is followed by an action (for example: she grinned, he walked over to the window, she placed the book down, etc.) then you end it with a period instead.
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✿ Plot ✿

Your plot has a quick, exciting pace. This is great, since it keeps readers engaged as they expect something intriguing right around every corner. There are only three chapters in this book so far, so there isn't enough to judge the overall plot. For now, it can seem a little confusing and as if the perspectives of Aife, Lumi, and Lillith don’t quite add up to the bigger picture yet. This isn't an issue though, because im sure that as the story progresses, readers will understand the connections a lot better.
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✿ Characters ✿

There are tons of characters in this story so far and I have a feeling that there are still many more to be introduced. The perspective of Aife, Lumi, and Lillith were all unique and interesting to read, however not a lot can be understood about their personalities. For now, they do seem a little bland, but that could be due to the fact that you only have three chapters posted so far. Just remember that it's important to give your characters personalities that are different. Some of them can be uncommon, while others can be relatable to readers. Long story short, vibrant personalities are a necessity and im hoping to see your characters’ individualistic traits surface, along with how they will develop as more chapters are added to the book.