Golden Arrow Reviews

Review #8: Gone Gone Gone

Reviewer: taz2327
Story: Keefehugs - Gone Gone Gone

This story is pretty short and only really consists of a prolouge and author note so this review will be fairly short. I will just give my thoughts instead of using a certain rubric.

It's obvious when I read this that you have a stable writing base. You know what your doing and how to make it flow nicely when read. You have obvious talent.

I saw a few mistakes and since you have so little I suggest going over it and taking the time to edit it right now. I really doubt you have read over it because there are mistakes like missing quotations and things that would be easily found. If you already have edited I can do it too for a fresh set of eyes if you'd like.

Your story is heavy in dialogue so far but from what I read it's necessary for the plot. Just remember that every conversation needs to be quickly leading somewhere  (leave out anything that doesn't move the plot forward).

Your descriptions are nice but in my opinion you could add in a few more. I don't realize they are on a boat at first because you don't lay out the setting right away. I'm a fool for descriptions of the sea or nature so keep in mind what kind of mood you can really accomplish.

Although I get a crisp, cold, soft sort of vibe from your story. A sort of quiet meaningful silence also. I think you could emphasise that mood if that makes any sense in your descriptions.

Your ending to the prolouge is beautiful. I think you have set yourself up for an amazing story. I'm excited to read more when or if you update.

Your cover and title could really be upgraded. This doesn't change your writing but it sparks interest in your story and I think you could get more readers if there was something very special about it that makes people want to click on your story.

Btw I love your authors note ;)

If you have any questions or things that I can look for or add just ask I'm always read to up my game and really look into what you have written.