Golden Arrow Reviews

Review#25: The Betrayal

Reviewer: _RoseThorn_

Story: The Betrayal by Rosie_80
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✿ Cover and Title ✿

Early on, I was able to connect the title to the storyline. The title is fitting because it represents the feeling of betrayal that Carla’s children are facing upon learning about her past connections to a gang. Added to this, “betrayal” can also refer to Sam kidnapping Carla’s son because they were once a part of the same gang together. It can also refer to the betrayals if people close to the characters, such as Kerstin. The image of the mask on your cover is clever as it could represent how Carla is hiding her past and true nature by putting on a disguise of a woman living a regular lifestyle, raising two kids with her husband.

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✿ Summary ✿

Your summary is concise and clear. It raises several questions which definitely draws readers into taking a look at the book to find out more. Everyone loves a book with hidden secrets, so I thought it was smart to include that in your summary. From first glance, I can tell that Carla’s past will drag up some dramatic conflicts and maybe even something that will put her family in danger.

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✿ Grammar, Spelling and Vocabulary ✿

In some of the dialogue phrases, the grammar is inconsistent because you have the punctuation outside the quotation marks or you have no punctuation at all. Also, the dialogue can be confusing at times since there are instances where there are no dialogue tags, so readers might not understand who is speaking. Following dialogue with tags like “he replied”  or actions like “he laughed and walked away” make the book sound more put together. I noticed that you accidentally put two spaces instead of one quite a few times throughout the story and there are also several misplaced commas. I also saw that you didn't capitalize “Ma” when the children used it to refer to Carla. Since they are using it in place of her name, it should be capitalized. However, if they are saying something like “my ma said...” instead of “Ma said...” it isn’t capitalized since they are not specifically referring to Carla.

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✿ Characters ✿

I loved that you chose characters of all different ages instead of sticking to a teenage main character like most books. I found it interesting to read a story in the points of view of two middle-aged parents, as well as their children. First off, Jerry seems like the voice of reason in the family. He appears calm, which is a good contrast to Carla’s fiery personality. He doesn’t seem like the type to get angry often. As for Carla, the way she speaks to her children gives her a rude impression. She seems impatient and is a total spitfire, so I’m not at all surprised that she had been in a gang during her teenage years. Carla sometimes speaks rudely to her sons for no reason, causing readers to question whether she truly loves them or not. As for Scott, he is definitely in the middle of his angsty and rebellious teenager phase. I understand why Jerry and Carla treat him like a child, especially since he is their youngest son. However, Scott clearly doesn’t appreciate being seen as a little kid and that is clear in the way he curses, gets annoyed easily, and is sometimes rude to his parents. You can tell that he looks up to his brother and cares about him a lot, considering his reaction upon finding out that Billy had been kidnapped. Billy, on the other hand, appears to have inherited some of his father’s qualities. He is pretty rational and can deal with horrifying situations such as being kidnapped surprisingly well. His calm nature can also be seen in the prologue where he gives Carla his car keys instead of arguing with her and getting angry with her impatient behaviour. Jerry’s partner, Kerstin, appears pretty calm and collected at first. She has a motherly aspect to her personality, which can be seen when she speaks to Scott and tries to assure him that Billy will be okay. This makes it really difficult to see any bad in her, so readers certainly won’t expect the plot twist.

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✿ Plot ✿

Starting off with action and drama was a great way to reel readers in. Having Billy get kidnapped so suddenly was very unexpected and definitely intrigued me because I didn’t see that coming at all. Overall, the plot was fairly simple but interesting. Scott’s perspective was a great addition to the story and you had an awesome way of displaying his struggles and feelings throughout. The plot twist with Kerstin was very clever because she had me fooled for sure. No one would expect her to do anything bad, considering how she expressed herself as a warm and caring person. I’m glad Billy came out okay and that it was a happy ending for the family, excluding Carla of course. Carla was honestly a mystery throughout the story because she seemed like a caring and concerned mother at some times, while she was completely awful at others. It’s probably in the family’s best interest that she is no longer with them because she didn’t exactly have the greatest relationship with her kids and she was quite the toxic influence.

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