Golden Arrow Reviews

Review #1: Viral

Viral by LuvSnoopy21
Reviewer: PoisonedOak

There were a few grammatical errors that are easy to ignore, but I would recommend fixing to help improve the book. Many people hate spelling errors and won't even read past the first one so I'd get to fixing that.

The character development was good, but has so much potential to be even better. The character development was all over the place, but you get the gist, in the end. The character development also was confusing with a few sentence structuring errors, which coincides with the spelling errors.

I'm not sure if you're against swearing, but if you are, I would recommend changing the phrases and words you used to describe the brothers sexual life. For example, when you used "F'd". I feel that if you changed that to something like "He's been with so many different woman" or something along those lines it would sit better with the story.

Now, this is kind of a pet peeve, but this is something I would like to address. You mentioned that the main character, Dayne, and her brother, Damien, go to Harvard, but don't show anymore signs of that. Will there be more of it later on the story? How will you intertwine Harvard with this book? Is this you're way of telling us how intelligent and smart they are? If Damien is a 'Bad Boy', then how is he able to create so much havoc to people? Just things like this where you plant a seed into a story and then don't let it grow is something that will bring it down.

One of the main points I would like to mention is the romantical (is that a word? Lmao) development. I'm guessing it's between Shawn and Dayne, but it's very badly put at the end of the chapter. You never touch base on it when you're describing Shawn and Garrett so adding some more of Dayne's personal feelings about Shawn would help it not come out of no where at the end. It came as a shock to me when you mentioned it so abruptly so transitioning into it while planting the seed in the introductions of the characters will help it immensely.

Now your description of the book is almost perfect besides the one mistake in the beginning, but there are some unnecessary tags like comfort zone and food. Unnecessary tags cause clutter and will confuse people on why they are there. For tags, it should be the overall group or category the story fits into.

Onto how captivating the book is: for me, with a little more work, I'd be extremely interested in this book if it had more help. You're at a great start though and I'm 100% sure your writing will improve with time and practice. I'm no writing machine myself, but I am an active reader and I know my likes and dislikes. I know what people like and dislike as well, I guess you could say. With everything I pointed out, this story will catch everyone's attention and help the reader's stay in focus while reading it. So far, this story is a gem and is something I haven't read before. That alone will bring more attention to the story. With a few changes, you'll start to bring in a larger crowd of readers. I'm happy to see what you do in the next chapter and see what direction you take the story in.