marshall

10/ burned out

''So what about tonight?'' I asked Marshall as I poured myself a coffee.

''What's with tonight?''

''Like um.. Any plans? I thought we could do something together. Movies, dinner?'' there was a hint of excitement in my voice. Or maybe I was just desperate for Marshall.

''Nah. I'm working tonight'' he mumbled and kept on staring at his phone screen.

''Oh, okay then'' I sighed and ate my last piece of toast.

Marshall lifted his head up.

''Yo what's wrong?"

''Nothing? I just wanted to spend some time with you. That's all'' I shrugged and picked up our now empty plates.

''Okay, so I'll quit my job, and we can go live in a carton box. Is that what you want?'' he was irritated, but remained calm.

''Of course not, jeez. Why can't you just exchange your night shifts with somebody?''

''This is not a pet shop, Tanya. I can't just come and say 'yo boss, I can't do night shifts anymore so find someone else, aight? bye'. I'd respect it if you'd have to do the same job as I do'' he was waiting for my answer. I just shook my head and cleaned the kitchen quickly.

"You wouldn't mind having night shifts with that Evan guy, would ya?" Marshall asked as I was putting my winter jacket on.

I frowned at him. "What the hell Marshall?"
he gave me a serious stare  but started to laugh after a few seconds.
"I'm kidding. Relax babe" he rubbed my back.
"Oh, so funny I forgot to laugh" I rolled my eyes and grabbed my little leather backpack.
"Take care, babydoll" Marshall placed a soft kiss on my lips.
"I will, bye"

Marshall would take me to work, but we can't really afford to waste our money on gas. It's not necessary. The bus can take me there too.

The bell started to ring, signalizing that I opened the door.
There was a guy standing behind the cash register. He had his back turned at me, and he was short haired.

My eyes widened when he turned at me.

"Evan? Where did your hair go?" I pointed at his head.
"Yeah uh, my drunk friend thought that it would be fun to cut my hair while I was asleep" 
I chuckled and came closer to the cash counter.

I patted his head like if he was a little kid.
"You look like a highschool freshman" I teased. 
He was just looking at me with a smirk.

I changed into my working shirt  and noticed a little detail when I passed the fish tanks. There was this little betta fish in aquarium. She's been there for a pretty long time. So I decided to buy her for me and Marshall if no one comes to buy her tomorrow.

Marshall.
I started to think about him. About us.
What we have is special. Really special.
I've had relationships before, but this is different.
Good different.

Of course, we argue. Who doesn't?
Of course, we both have flaws. But we can work on them.
Important thing? We have eachother. Have.

The workday went pretty fast. And the fish is still in her aquarium.
I was sweeping the floor and thinking what to do tonight. Marshall's television has only a few channels, and I didn't have a good book to read. Usually, when I'm home in the evening while Marshall's at work, I end up watching television.

"Doing anything tonight?" Evan asked me after I locked the cash register.
"No, not really. Why?"
"I haven't been out in a while so I was wondering if you and I could go out tonight? Like hit a bar or something"
"It's not a date, right?" I raised my left brow.
"No.. it's not a date" he was a bit disappointed.
Yeah, I promised that I'll go out with him like a few weeks ago. So I guess that he deserves a few hours with me.

"Alright, when?"
"We can go right now. It's 5pm"
"Okay, yeah. Sure" I was taken aback a bit. I thought I will have some time to get ready. But iťs not that important. It's only Evan.

So we arrived infront of this club. It was pretty big, which meant a lot of people.
Maybe I'll find myself new friends tonight.

I turned my phone off before we entered the bar. We  headed straight for the drinks.
I didn't want to end up drunk, so I've had only like two bottles of beer. Evan had the same.
We've been talking about all kind of stuff.
I could tell that Evan was slightly hitting on me. I took it as a compliment, but I didn't take it any further.

I've had fun, not gonna lie. But I missed Marshall. I wished he could be there with us.

"I think I should head back home. It's almost midnight"
"Shit, I didn't even notice. We're both gonna be pretty fresh tomorrow at work" Evan rubbed his eyes.

We hailed a cab. Evan couldn't drive because of the beer we've had earlier.  The ride was pretty silent because we ran out of topics for this night.

We've said our goodbyes, and I headed to Marshall's apartment.

Right when I stepped inside, I could feel a weird odor. Like a mixture of smoke and fresh food.
I noticed that Marshall's hoodie is still on the same hook in our little hallway like this morning. His shoes were in their place.
That was really weird.

Then it hit me.

The smoke odor?

Candles that Marshall set on our dining table.
But they were burned out.

The food odor?
There was a pan full of fresh lasagna.
But completely untouched.

I opened the bedroom door.
Marshall was there, in our bed.
Sleeping, alone.

I think I fucked up.

Oh, Marshall..