marshall

23/ mathers matters

Without even knowing where to go, I kept on walking. It was getting dark with every minute, but I didn't really care. My mind was occupied with wild thoughts.

Why would Marshall keep all those money away from me? I'm not dumb, I know he earned them in an illegal way, but I'd never call the cops on him, ever. I'm not a rat.

Soon, my legs started to hurt from all the walking, so I entered the first club I laid my eyes on.

The club was stuffed with people I didn't even know. They all were dancing, drinking, laughing, whatever. No one even noticed my presence which I appreciated.

I made my way over to the bartender and sat down on a bar stool. I couldn't even hear my own thoughts through all the noise coming from the large speakers and drunk people.

Before I could place an order, I felt somebody's arm around my shoulder.

Jane's arm.

"Oh Jane, hello" I gave her a warm and honest smile
"My girl Tanyaaaa" she exclaimed and placed a kiss on my cheek. I think she was already intoxicated but I didn't really care.

"You're all alone?"
"Actually, yeah. I wanted to clean my head a bit but this is not the right place I guess"
"Nuh, I'll take you under my wing and you'll be just fine," she gave me that sweet smile of hers, "so what happened with Marshall?"
"Um... Nothing really, it doesn't matter, really" I waved my hand as if nothing really happened only a few hours ago.
"I think it does matter but I'm not going to force you to talk" Jane shrugged and ordered three shots.
"Wait, why three?"
"Um, actually there's my friend somewhere over here"
"Oh, I don't want to be the third wheel so-" Jane interrupted me by pressing her finger against my lips.
"Shush, he's a lot of fun. You'll see"

Three shots were placed in front of us. I grabbed mine, Jane took the other two.
"Let's go then"

Somehow, we managed to make it through the dancefloor. Jane scanned the area until her eyes fell on one place.

"There he is"
My body froze when I noticed who her friend was.

"Hey I hope you don't mind I brought my friend here" Jane grinned and handed one shot of vodka to her friend.
To Evan.

"I don't, she's gonna bail on us soon anyway," he said coldly, surprising Jane with his sudden manner.

I gave Evan an arrogant eye roll and ignored his comment.

"To our beautiful night" Jane exclaimed and raised her shot of vodka. She was already under influence.
We clinked the glasses and burned our throats with the liquor.

Jane grabbed my hand again and dragged me to a booth where were some people sitting around the table.

No one really cared about our appearance as they were drunk, rolling papers or occupied with cutting the lines on the table.

Only a few of them raised their heads and Jane introduced me to her friends.

To be honest, I felt a bit uncomfortable because I have never seen cocaine in my life before and I don't feel good around a group of drunk people.

But there was no turning back, once I was there with Jane and Evan I had to stay. We sat down next to the other guys as another round of vodka landed on our table.

I accepted the glass.
Then another.
Another.

The alcohol filled my veins pretty quick, turning me into my extrovert side.

'Let's Dance' by David Bowie echoed the whole club and it was the right time to shuffle our feet on the dancefloor.

All the wrong things were suddenly forgotten as Evan took my hand and led me to the dancefloor, with Jane right behind us.

We found ourselves a nice spot, let our bodies move to the rhythm of the music.
Jane got occupied with some guy and I was occupied with Evan.

Standing close, with my back pressed against Evan's chest.
His hands traveling from my hips to my waist and from my waist back to my hips. I could even feel his hot breath on the back of my neck, giving me goosebumps.

Somehow, I forgot about Marshall. All of my worries were gone in that very moment and nothing really mattered to me.
No regrets, no sympathy.

"Thirsty much?" Evan whispered in my ear and I wasn't able to give him an answer, all I could choke out was just "Mhhmm"

Evan got Jane's attention and waved at her, signalizing her to come over.

"Seems like we found ourselves a match" Jane smirked at some guy she danced with and gave me and Evan a wink.

"Oh shut up, Marshall's alright, sitting on his money" I exclaimed dramatically,
"On his money?" Jane's voice and Evan's face were full of concern.

"Are you deaf, darling? I'm talking about Marshall's illegal dollars, of course. Those ones he's keeping in that shitty bag of his. It's full of Franklins, I tell you what" I burst out, very loudly, very clearly. It was way too late to take my words back because I knew I should keep my mouth shut about the Marshall's money that I found.
No one gave a single fuck about my words, but I could feel a few stares from this one table where a group of black guys was sitting. I'm sure I knew two or three faces, but not the rest. I knew them, but couldn't remember who they were.

"Told ya he's not clear" Evan scoffed with the smug of victory on his face.
"Tell me who's not illegal in this world?" Jane asked rhetorically, not giving a damn about my answer.

The last shot of vodka broke my neck.
I knew I've had more than I could handle, plus the mixture of cigarette and weed odor made me feel only worse.

"Hey babe, you okay?" Evan rubbed my shoulder, sensing that I'm not completely alright.
"Guys I - I need to get out" I excused myself, ignoring Evan's question.

Somehow, I managed to get out of the club, fresh air filling my lungs. I rested my back against the wall and closed my eyes for a while.
I felt like if I were sleeping, but then, a female voice I knew woke me up.
Jane's voice.

I saw her walk away with some guy. She was giggling, holding his arm tightly.
I knew it wasn't Evan because that guy was bald from what I could see.

But she left me without saying a word.
Thanks a lot.

I decided to go back and search for Evan because I knew I won't be able to make it home in one piece.

Pushing my way through, bumping into other people.
I started to feel awful again.

It was impossible to find him in the pile of the dancing bodies.
Someone accidentally spilled their alcohol, a few drops fell on my jeans, but I didn't really care.

Blinded by the flashing lights,
my legs felt like a ghost, but I kept on walking.

"Evan!" I yelled desperately. No answer.
I made it to the bartender, hoping for Evan to show up.
Nothing.

I went to the booth where we were sitting before.
Nothing.
Empty.

I gave up, exhausted, sank down on the comfy couch.
My eyelids felt heavy and the table seemed to be a perfect place to rest my head and arms on.

Asleep.

-
I opened my eyes.
The morning sun was already up,  shining right into my eyes through the window of the dimmed apartment room.
My head felt like a sharp glass, every little sound made me cringe in pain.
I was on a couch under a thin blanket, but my body still felt cold.

Then, when I came back to my senses.
I noticed one thing.

It wasn't mine or Marshall's apartment.

I didn't know that place.
I didn't know where I was.
..