marshall

12/ night shift

I was standing there, in our bathroom. My back rested against a washing machine.

Two more minutes.

I was nervous like never before. A million thoughts were running through my head, and they weren't really nice.

One more minute.

My heart was beating fast, meanwhile, the seconds were running slow.

Finally. Three minutes passed.

I came to the bathroom sink and grabbed the test.

Deep breath.

3,2,1

Two lines.
I couldn't believe my eyes.
Two lines.

Pregnant?
Yes, pregnant!
_____
I opened my eyes and sat on my bed really quickly. I was touching my stomach like some kind of freak.

That's when I realized it was just a dream.
That I'm not pregnant.
Honestly? I don't think we could afford a baby right now. We can barely afford our apartments. Not a baby.
I was thinking about selling my apartment, but that's not really wise. Because, you know. Anything can happen between me and Marshall, and if we would ever break up, I'd literally have no place to go. This is the cheapest apartment in the city.

A sweet scent filled my nostrils.

I came to the kitchen, and Marshall was there, making us a breakfast.

"Wow, a breakfast?"
Marshall turned his head at me.

"Damn, you weren't supposed to wake up" Marshall tilted his head back.
"Ever?" I teased him.
"No, I was just thinking that I'd bring it.." he said and pointed at our bedroom door.
"You want me to go back to bed?" I said, trying to be seductive.
"No, I guess that would be kind of... I don't know" he said as he rushed back to the stove to flip the pancake.
He had some struggles.
"You need help?"
"No, just go and sit," he said, still busy with the evil pancake.
"Is there any coffee?" I asked Marshall. He was in a rush. 'Running' from flipping pancakes to filling them with jam.
"Yeah, shit uhh" he pointed at the coffee maker
but there was no coffee, "yeah shit, one second"

That was cute. "At least let me do that" I chucked and patted his back.

Marshall placed a plate full of fresh pancakes on the dining table.
Amazing.

I was thinking about the dream. I can't imagine Marshall being a father. He's too irresponsible, and I'm not any better. Too early.

"Did you?" Marshall asked me, and I had no idea what he was talking about.
"What?" I was a confused one Tanya.
"I asked; have you fed Babe?"
"No, no. I'll do it after I eat"
We decided to name out fish Babe. We have her for two weeks now, and she grew up a bit.

"What's wrong?" he asked me concerned.
"Nothing, I'm alright"
Marshall raised his brow.
"Your mind is running everywhere this morning"
"You ever thought about kids?" I spilled a quick sentence and Marshall almost his coffee.
"What? Kids?"
"Yeah like do you want to be a father one day?"
"Well uh, I don't know tho. Like yeah,
one day. Definitely not now if you were thinking" he was pretty serious, and I chuckled nervously.
"No, I just wanted to know your opinion" I shrugged.
"Okay" suspicious tone, thanks, Marshall.

"You got shift tonight?" I asked Marshall.
"Um, yeah, I do" he rubbed the back of his neck like he does when he's nervous.
"Oh okay. I'm not working so I thought we could do something tonight"
"Yeah sorry, hun. We have the whole day to do something"
"Like?" I bit my lip and gave Marshall 'that look'
"Watch rap videos, maybe?"

Seriously? Rap videos.

"Alright whatever" I waved my hand and washed the dishes.

It was really nice being here, on a couch with Marshall. We watched a bunch of rap video clips, and Marshall was so into it. He was talking about all the rappers, songs. He knew so much about it.

"How do you know this all?" I asked with a stupid smile.
"I just do. It's natural for me" he said proudly.
"Yu uh, I see"

After Marshall left, I decided to get dressed and take a walk. The weather was pretty nice, and I didn't want to spend the whole day on a couch.

As I was getting close to the pharmacy, a curiosity took control over me.
Right when I got inside, I went straight to the counter.

"One pregnancy test," I said, without even saying hello.
"Ten dollars, please" the woman grabbed a little box from the regal.
I gave her my money, took the box and quickly left. I felt exposed in some kind of way.
Intimate things were a taboo in my family.

It was getting more and more dark, so it was the right time to head back home. And Marshall doesn't want me to walk outside when it's dark anyway.

I took a long and warm shower, which I don't do really often. It's expensive, you know.

There were some leftovers from our breakfast, so I finished them. All the 6 pancakes. I wasn't even sorry though.

I didn't really know how or why, but I missed Marshall even more than usual. I knew that I'll see him in a few hours, but I was still somehow sad.

If I couldn't see him, I decided to give him a quick call and talk to him.

I knew that he has a phone with him when he's working. I dialed Marshall's number and pressed my phone against ear.

Nothing.

I pressed the call button again.
Nothing, beep beep-bye bye.

A third time, fourth time. Nothing.
I knew he would answer the call. He always does.

I started to panic a bit. Thinking about how to get him on the phone or find out whaťs happening.
I decided to contact the factory. I searched up for their phone number, for Marshall's department.

"General Motors factory" an older woman was speaking to me. Well, I'd prefer to hear Marshall's voice.

"Hello, um. I'd like to talk to my boyfriend who works in your factory. He's on a night shift"

"And the name is?" could she be more annoyed?

"Marshall Mathers," I said proudly.
I've heard her going through some papers.

"There's no Marshall Mathers on tonight's shift," she said baldly.

What?

"Okay.. thank you"

I hung up.
Eyes shut tight.

Lies.
Why?