15/ desperate

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4 days later...
___________

Stubborn.
If there was some competition in being stubborn, I'm sure that I and Marshall would be the winners. It's been four days since our argument, and we never exchanged a word since. I was thinking it over and over again, and it wasn't a big deal after all.

Yes, he lied right in my face.
But that just happens? I guess?
Doesn't change the fact that I love him.

But there's another thing that I was thinking about a lot. For how long would probably Marshall keep on lying to me if I wouldn't have called to his work? Weeks? Months? Who knows.

Still, doesn't change the fact that I love him.

It just feels so weird to be alone now. We used to be together every day for months. And now, we don't even talk.

It's not a big deal, we got to work on it.
Work on us.

I tightened my ponytail, zipped up my jacket and headed off to work.
As I was getting closer to the bus station, I've noticed there was someone sitting in Marshall's car. My paranoic mini-me was like "he's there with some other chick, probably doing god know's what," but no, he was sitting there with Deshaun. They were probably talking or rapping, by the gestures they were doing with their hands. I tried to not look too much, but they noticed me and stopped. I took a quick glance at Marshall, but I couldn't really read his emotions. I gave him a sly smile and kept on walking. Nothing more, nothing less.

"Is there anything else you know about Shelter?" I asked Evan, as we were both putting new equipment and dog food on the shelves.

"Well uh, thaťs all I know" he chuckled nervously.
"Things aren't really good between me and Marshall. So I just want to know what he's up to these whole nights. So I can understand" I begged, but not too desperately.
"I visit Shelter. From time to time. It can get pretty wild, so that's why he doesn't want you to be there" he said as he continued with filling the shelves.
"But um, I'm an adult. I can defend myself" my arms crossed.
Evan did his best to not start to laugh, but he lost it.
"Hey what are you laughing about?"
"You haven't seen those guys.  They can get pretty intimate with you, without asking. But yeah, it would be fun to see you try" he pointed at me and I slapped his hand down.
"I want to go there" I stated, really confidently.
"No way" that was one quick answer.
"I just want to take a peek inside, see Marshall maybe"
Evan rolled his eyes and left out a little sigh.
"Alright, but promise me one thing," he raised his index finger, and I nodded my head, waiting for him to continue.
"You'll talk to Marshall and sort things out. I don't wanna see you this sad like these last four days" I raised my brow because I was taken aback a bit. He never really cared about Marshall or our relationship.
"Okay? I guess I can do it. I wanted to talk to him anyway" I shrugged and half-smiled.
"Alright. Next battle should be in two days. Just call me after Marshall leave and I'll pick you up, okay?"
"Sure, thanks" I patted his shoulder and headed to the cash register.

The rest of the shift was alright. I was thinking about Marshall a lot. About what to say, how he would react to my apology. Even though I wasn't the one who should apologize. It was Marshall's fault, but he's just way too stubborn or proud to come first. I know when's the right time to swallow my pride.

It was already dark when I got home, and judging by the silence, Marshall was still somewhere outside. I was so ready to talk to him, so it would really suck if he didn't come home tonight.

My heart started to beat fast, and I almost stabbed myself in the eye with mascara when I've heard Marshall's door open and close.

He's home.
Why the hell was I so nervous?

I took a quick look in the mirror and unbuttoned my flannel shirt a bit. I know what he likes.

Inhale, exhale, knock.

It took him a little while to answer the door. He was standing there in his classic outfit. Hoodie, an oversized shirt and pants with a pair of sneakers.

"Marshall, I-" before I could even finish my sentence, Marshall dragged me inside and closed the door with kicking the door slightly.

He pressed me against the wall and blocked me by putting his hands on each side of me.

"I'm sorry, baby" he whispered in my ear huskily, sending shivers down my spine.

There you go, Marshall.

"I'm gonna make it up to you, okay?" he moved down to my neck, gently kissing it while unbuttoning my flannel shirt real quick.

"Please do"  I moaned desperately.

I was desperate.
So desperate.

My shirt fell down on the ground together with my bra. Marshall cupped my breasts with his one hand, meanwhile, his free hand was occupied with my butt.
He was like a horny teenager who has never been with a girl before.

I could already feel his hardness pressed against mine lower stomach, and I smirked a bit.

"Come with me" he whispered, took me by my hand and lead me to the bathroom. He reached for the knob and turned the shower on with hot water.

"Take them clothes off. I wanna see you" he demanded, arms crossed.

I started to unbutton my pants. Really, really slowly, never broke an eye contact.

Slowly sliding them down, making sure to do the right movements with my hips.

"Fuck" I felt Marshall's fingers pulling my panties down together with my pants.

"Get in" he pointed at the shower, and I obeyed.

Marshall got rid of his clothes in no time and joined me.

His lips crashed against mine.
He was eager.
I was eager.

Hot water was running all over my skin, and I felt so.. his.
I felt his.
I am his.
I felt him.
I felt him everywhere.

Marshall lifted me up and I wrapped my legs around his slim hips.

A moan slipped out of my mouth as I felt his full length inside me.

We were one body.

Marshall was changing the depth and did everything to make me want to dig my nails in  his back even deeper, scratch it like crazy.

"God damn. Fuck" Marshall moaned, as I fell his load inside of me.

I buried my face in his neck, as we were both breathing heavily, letting the now cold water run down all over our tensed bodies.

"I love you, Tanya. I didn't mean to be such an asshole" his voice echoed the shower walls.
"Hush and kiss" I chuckled and placed a soft kiss on his lips.

And that's when I realized.

I'm not on pills.

I'm not on birth control pills.

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