marshall

14/ a girl like me

"Bitch!" Marshall yelled after me as I slammed his door shut.

What now? Where to go?
My apartment.

I started to search for my keys in my little bag.
"Fuck, damn" I hissed as I was desperately running my hand through all the stuff I have in the bag.

I didn't have my keys. Forgot them in Marshall's apartment.
And I was too proud to knock at his door and ask for them.

I decided to go for a walk, maybe grab some lunch and then get my keys back.
And I was thinking a bit.

I realized how much it sucks to have no one here in Detroit. Like, yeah, I know some classmates from highschool, but that's nothing.

And Evan? I don't really know how should I feel about him. Sure, he's a good friend of mine. But that's all.  I'd say that Evan is expecting something else. I think he wants more than a regular friendship.

I was passing by the pet shop that I work in and took a look through the window.
Just because I work there. Not because I wanted to see Evan. It's not his workday today anyway.
After five hours outside- including a lunch and shop observing- I started to feel tired.

I decided to head back to Marshall's apartment. The only problem was that I didn't know where I actually was. I've never been to this part of Detroit, so I was kinda lost.
Not kinda. I was completely lost. I mean, how stupid is this?

I pulled my phone from my pocket and dialed Marshall's number.

Beeps, beeps, and beeps.
This.. again?
I sighed and dialed him once again.
Triple B. That's how I should call Marshall. Three beeps and then he hung up.

Another choice? Evan.

I searched for Evan's number in my contacts and tapped on his icon.
It took him some time to answer.

"Hey, you alright?" Evan was surprised because I never call him.
"Hey, um, yeah. I'm just kinda lost" I sounded like a ten-year-old kid.
"Like in Detroit?"
"No, in Wonderland, actually" sarcasm strikes.
"Right, Alice. Now tell me what's around you"
"There's something like a dog shelter, but abandoned. A few old houses and that's all I can tell you" I scratched my head, looking nervously all around the place.
"I think I know. I'll be there in a few, hold on"
Evan ended the call before I could say bye at least.

I didn't really know how to act in front of Marshall. We've never had such a big fight since we 'started' with our relationship.

Be quiet? Don't say anything at all?
Be loud?  Say everything I have on my mind?
I didn't know.

Evan was here, in his old red car.
"Jump in, loser" he chuckled and nodded his head.

"So how did you end up here?"
"I don't know. I was just walking, thinking, thinking and walking. Ate, did some shopping"
"Yo what's wrong?" he looked at me swiftly, then back at the road.
"It's Marshall" I let out a little sigh and Evan raised his brow in surprise.
"He lied to me about his night shifts. He was doing some rap battles instead of being at work"  staring down at my hands.
"Rap battles, huh?" a chuckle slipped out of Evan's mouth.
"What? What was that supposed to mean?" I was slightly irritated.

Evan didn't say a word back and took a sharp turn to the right with his car.

"The fuck you doing?"
"Just wait"
I shifted in my seat uncomfortably, waiting for what will come next.
Evan slowed down the car, and I was more confused than before.

"Where are we?"
Evan pointed at an old, brick building.
"Yeah and?" my face was full of questions.
"The Shelter"

The shelter?
Shelter.. shelter. I knew that name.
Think, Tanya.

Then I realized.

"I remember. I've heard some guys talk about Marshall and shelter. Makes sense now" I said quietly, watching the scenery. Bunch of guys in baggy clothes, standing in a circle, probably roasting eachother. Almost fighting.

"How did you know?"
"I go there. From time to time" Evan said and started to speed up again.
I fell silent for a few seconds.

"I want to go there," I said, matter of factly.
"Don't think so" he chuckled like if I just told him a joke.
"Why not? I want to know what Marshall do"
"It's not a safe place for a girl like you"

"Girl like me?" I didn't understand shit he was saying.
Evan sighed, "just ask your boy. He'll tell you the same. If he will be in a 'truth speaking' mood,  of course"
"Oh please, shut up" I smirked at him and punched his shoulder.

The rest of the ride was silent.

"Thanks for the ride, E" I gave him a sly smile and get off.
"Whenever yo" Evan smiled back at me, probably expecting more than that.

I was thinkng about everything on my short way to Marshall's apartment.
Maybe I should just drop it, and forgive him. It's not a big deal anyway, even tho I didn't like the exterior of 'The Shelter', and I don't want him to come home with bruises, cuts or black eye.

I was walking down in a hallway when I heard a loud music coming from behind Marshall's door. Together with strong weed odor.

I've had keys from Marshall's apartment with me, as always.

Wow, look at this.
A "party"

7 guys and 4 girls, sitting, drinking, smoking weed.

Laughing, having fun.
Hookers? Probably
They were sitting on those guy's laps. Not on Marshall. At least something.

All I did was that I just took my keys from the bowl in the living room, not making an eye contact, not saying a word. I just shook my head in disbelief. That was all.

Right before I left, someone grabbed my arm.

"Hey, baby, where you going?" Marshall was high as kite and drunk. What a combination.
"Home, Marshall. Home" I snapped at him, tried to release from his grab.
"I'm not good enough for you or what?" he raised his voice, but he was still mumbling because of the amount of alcohol he had in his veins.
"Let me go" I yanked my arm which made Marshall take a couple steps back, almost causing him to fell on the floor.
"Yeah aight go and don't turn back" he shouted but I didn't care. I just didn't.

As much as I love him, I didn't care.

He's my everything
All I got.

Why?