Circus of Hell (Oliver x Fukase)

Sympathy

With shaky legs, Oliver stumbled back into his cage and sunk down to his knees once he heard the door slamming shut. All energy has left his body. All that was left was the scene between him and Fukase respecting over and over in his head. Oliver was shaking and his loud breathing resonated in the room only irregularly. Tears dared to burst out his eyes as the spots where Fukase had touched him were burning like they were on fire. Oliver didn't like this confusion. There was so much he couldn't process. The old Fukase compared to what was left now, and worst of all, the blond couldn't understand his own thoughts about it. Everything was just too overwhelming. And so, dizziness soon came over the boy, making everything appear shaky and drifting Oliver into a sleep to recover from his stock in silence.

Oliver frowned as his drowsy mind perceived dull clashes resonating around him. Slowly the boy got back to his senses and grunted tired out as he felt his face pressed against the cold ground. Oliver was surprised to see he has passed out on the floor and immediately sat up despite his aching limbs as a difficulty. It took a few more blinks until his vision became clear. Slowly, Oliver turned around to where the now loud sound of metal clashing against each other came from. His gut feeling already didn't show him any good as he felt nauseous, wondering who would show up that forcefully.

Oliver's eyes opened wide as they fell on a familiar person. With a loud gasp, Oliver fell over himself as he tried to get away from the door as much as possible. His back crashed against the wall and Oliver coughed, his focus still in front of him. His heart raced as if he was about to have another panic attack, but the blond tried to keep it down. He couldn't risk to pass out another time.

There was Fukase breaking into his room, unbothered as always. He had watched Oliver crawl away from him in fear and closed the door behind him, sitting in front of it silently. His expression didn't change a bit from his blunt one as he eyed Oliver's behavior. The blond was genuinely scared. Minutes passed by in which they merely stared at each other in silence, as Oliver started to shake even more. Fukase's expression changed into a pained frown and his eyes glistened unsteadily. Oliver gulped hard and watched Fukase hang his head slowly, a silent sob escaping the redhead's throat. Soon enough, it turned into a heavy downfall of tears and uncontrollable sobs. Fukase buried his face in his hands to numb the sounds, but with no success. They pierced through Oliver's head nevertheless. The said one couldn't move out of shock and held his breath in shock. Confusion raged up inside of him.

"I don't understand," Fukase mumbled under his sobs, "Why do you do this to me?" Fukase bursted into another intense crying. Oliver frowned in pain as he saw Fukase acting that way in front of him. It hurt to see the redhead that way, but Oliver's limbs were numb. Too confused and shocked from the current happening, the blond didn't even think of making a move. His instincts told him to wait for Fukase to stabilize his emotions before doing anything else.

"I try so much to make you happy and get you out of this building, but I just can't take how you look at me." Fukase wiped away his tears from the corner of his eyes and looked up into Oliver's eyes. His face was flushed red from crying, which unsettled the blond even more. This scenario seemed odd. Oliver's silence and timid expression only confirmed Fukase's assumptions though. "I can't take that you are no longer happy around me."

Speaking out these words himself was too much for the redhead and he turned away from Oliver, his sobs returning back. They were dull and heavy, and only weighed down Oliver's heart even more that way. The boy tried to speak up, he didn't get any further than solely opening his mouth though. No sound dared to escape his throat. His inner self was still too afraid to make a wrong move that would upset Fukase again. However, Oliver knew he had to do something and couldn't just let Fukase sit there like that. Even if his instincts heavily protested, Oliver tried to do something about the terrible aching in his chest and leaned forward. Slowly and careful to make no sound, the blond crawled to his counterpart, who didn't took notice of it yet. Oliver's heart was beating faster the closer he got to Fukase and he held his breath.

It took all his courage, but Oliver eventually won against himself and tackled Fukase with an embrace. The latter flinched at the sudden movement and stopped his crying at once. He slowly moved his head to where Oliver was, only to see the blond's face pressed against the redhead's shoulder. Fukase noticed the shakiness emitting from Oliver but didn't react to it yet. Both didn't know what to say now anyway. Instead, they remained in this position for what seemed like hours, unsure of how to react any further.

Oliver felt his heart beating fast and he barely managed to control his limbs from shaking. And yet, he felt like he was doing the right thing. This was not the Fukase he used to know, but something told him there was more behind that rough facade. Something Oliver simply couldn't ignore.

Suddenly there was a harsh movement coming from Fukase and Oliver whimpered in pain. His heart wrenched when he noticed how the redhead suddenly turned back to being so harsh and attempted to shake off the blond. However, Oliver held tightly on Fukase and squinted his eyes shut.

"No..." Oliver whispered and gulped hard. Tears were about to roll down his cheeks as well now. Receiving this kind of sudden rejection hurt and scared him both at the same time. Too afraid of what was about to come now, Oliver tightened his grip on Fukase's shirt.

"Stop pitying me," Fukase stated bluntly and pushed Oliver off him. The blond whimpered now completely in tears and shook his head heavily.

"I don't." Oliver was terrified about what was to come now but jumped over his own shadow and hugged Fukase even tighter now. "Please just stop."

More tears were streaming down Oliver's face as he was sobbing quietly. Whether it was out of sadness or fear was unclear for him, but he continued to hold tightly onto Fukase anyway. The redhead has stopped pushing Oliver away and just sat still. Only reluctantly, Fukase wrapped his arms around Oliver as well now and noticed tears dripping down his face too. With nothing being said between the two, Oliver started to shake more. There was a weird sensation when being so close to Fukase that way. As if it was the old Fukase, hugging him tightly for the first time. Oliver noticed the calm and gentle grasp that was no other's than Fukase's from back then. The memories of it all overwhelmed the blond and he couldn't keep back the sadness inside of him from bursting out. As grateful as he was to at least feel the old Fukase to be back for a bit, it hurt him nevertheless.

Eventually, Oliver noticed Fukase was stroking over his back reassuringly and only now realized how long they already remained in this position. Oliver's legs have already gone numb, so he backed away again. Both shared another second of silently staring at each other, before Oliver wiped away his tears and gulped down the last remaining pieces of the bittersweet feeling still lingering in his chest. Fukase looked just as overwhelmed and tired out from the crash of emotions. However, compared to Oliver, his expression tensed up again as his mind returned back to normal.

"So, why are you here anyways?" Oliver whispered. His voice was still shaken up from the crying that he could barely speak loudly.

"I will continue to stick to my promise, even if you hate me by now."

"Fukase, that's not true. I'm just confused over-"

Fukase grunted irritated and put Oliver in silence immediately. The blond flinched at the sudden change of mood and stared at the redhead confused. Fukase gulped hard and sighed.

"You didn't hug me just now. You hugged the old Fukase."

Oliver frowned bewildered but didn't find any response to persuade Fukase from the opposite. Even if the blond didn't like this wording, he couldn't fully deny from that being the truth. He found the old Fukase in the redhead just now and longed for that one the most. If he was comforting only that part of the redhead was unclear even to him. Confused what to think about that, Oliver lowered his head to stare down at his hands. Quickly, a hand lifted up his chin again though and Oliver frowned puzzled to see a half-hearted smile plastered on Fukase's face.

"But that's alright. I'm not the old one anymore, and maybe it's even better that way," Fukase paused to await Oliver's reaction. The blond didn't lose his confused stare though. "The current me will get you out for sure after all."

Oliver froze in place to hear of that again. For a moment, he forgot about it. Trying to retort anything to it, Oliver opened his mouth but remained quiet. His voice gave up completely. If only he wouldn't have gone against his instincts...