Circus of Hell (Oliver x Fukase)

Incomprehension

The music echoing through the halls hurt Oliver's ears. It wasn't much louder than the last times of rehearsals, but this time, the deep bass slamming against his eardrums made him slightly wince in pain occasionally. The blond panted as he had to repeat his choreography once more. His body wasn't used to so much training, his muscles slowly gave up. He knew he had no other choice than to just go against that signal and continue his action, unless he wanted to feel the downside of giving up. Only imagining the sharp pain on his sole skin made him shiver. Wiping away the cold sweat off his forehead, Oliver stopped for a second to orientate himself. Once more he got out of his position and he hurried to correct his mistake before anyone of the leaders would notice. This constant stress made time pass by even slower. However, Oliver didn't have the nerve to care about that. It was not only his lack of training that strained his body so much and made him stumble around rather clumsy. He could not get off his thoughts from what he has noticed earlier.

At first, Oliver wanted to tell himself that he just imagined all of that. There was no way Fukase would end up in such a situation. However, by now, he occasionally got closer to the redhead and the ruby red shimmering eye piercing his own eyes were not to mistake with anyone else's. There was something different to them, but Oliver still recognized them. No matter how hard he tried to deny it, the blond knew it was Fukase who had joined not too long ago.

Since then, numerous chains of thoughts trailed across his mind and he had trouble sorting them out. The situation was confusing to him. The realization over what had happened while he was trapped in his room overwhelmed his mind and mixed his memories of the redhead with his current observations.

Oliver groaned to the pain taking over his body. He held his chest tightly and gritted his teeth. He knew he had to stop thinking, but there was no way he could. The guilt he had gotten to know the last time dwelled up inside of him and almost choked him, making it harder for the blond to keep up his choreography. Oliver tried to focus on at least single thoughts, but the chaos in his head just wouldn't calm down. One thought after another seemed to enter his mind and slowly it was too much for the blond. Concentrating on his surroundings was out of question by now. Once more, he merely stumbled over his own feet. His blurry sight prevented him from regaining back his balance though and with a loud thud, Oliver fell to the ground. He squinted his eyes shut as a few tears dared to drip out of his eyes. His head was still rummaging wildly.

However, he knew he couldn't remain on the floor for too long and slowly forced his shaky limbs to get back up. The harsh push against his back confirmed Oliver he was not quick enough though and he tried to cushion his fall with his hands. A whimper pressed out of his throat, but didn't stop Oliver from collecting his thoughts for a second to stand up properly and silently continue. The leader didn't say anything yet, Oliver should be glad for that. Nevertheless, not long after Oliver composed himself, his mind started to force him to a journey full of overwhelming thoughts once more.

With a loud sigh, Oliver let himself fall to the ground once the leaders ended rehearsal. It was always tiring, however, this time it tore on Oliver in every possible way. The blond rubbed his eyes exhausted and let his normal breathing slowly set in, panting for hours hurt his lungs. Oliver didn't let himself rest for too long though. He knew he didn't have much time until he would get brought back to his room and he needed to make the most of the time he had. Once he let his eyes wander through the room, the significant red spot in-between the crowd perked into his eyes. Even though Oliver didn't really have any plans yet on how to do it, he knew he had to approach the Fukase. The said one didn't seem too interested in finding out Oliver didn't manage to escape it as well, which surprised Oliver. Usually the redhead would burst out in worry, but this time only a cold eye glared at him.

Oliver gulped nervously. He used to be fairly comfortable around Fukase, but it had a totally different feeling to it now. Not only seemed the redhead to hold in resentment, but the aura around Fukase felt so inaccessible for the blond that he hesitated. He still brought up enough courage to slowly set his weak limbs into movement though and made his way across the room. Oliver's eyes were fixed on Fukase in the meantime and the blond noticed himself drifting off. His surrounding blurred out as his heart skipped a beat at the thought of talking with Fukase again. It all felt so surreal and painful that Oliver gritted his teeth once more, his pace slowly drifting into a slow walk. He knew he didn't have much time to talk with Fukase, but his body wouldn't listen to him now.

Oliver breathed out shakily as he reached the redhead. The latter didn't even look into the blond's direction and Oliver frowned. He slowly questioned once more if his imagination just played tricks on him. After all, Fukase usually wouldn't react that way. Oliver took a step closer and tried to make eye contact, with no success.

"Fukase, it's you, isn't it?" Oliver managed to croak out and hoped for the taller one to at least turn to his direction. However, silence took over the situation and Oliver started to grow more anxious. There was coming absulotely no reaction from his counterpart and the blond couldn't tell why.

"It's me. Oliver. Don't you recognize me?"

Once again, Oliver waited for Fukase to speak up or act as if he noticed the blond at least. Only slightly, the redhead lowered his gaze and Oliver looked up attentive. This gave him hope he would get more of a reaction eventually, but with each second passing by, that assumption merely was a lie. The blond felt something was wrong with the redhead, only by the vibes he sent off, but he decided to not say anything to that. When Fukase was acting that strange, then Oliver found himself having his guards up more than usual.

With a pained expression, Oliver took a step back and signaled his counterpart he would set off now. It hurt the blond to see Fukase purposely ignored him. However, the guilt inside of Oliver reminded him once again why the redhead might have reacted that way and so, Oliver decided it was the best to go.

"Sorry, I probably just mistook you for someone else," Oliver mumbled and turned away, ready to step back to his place. However, he felt a tight grip around his wrist and turned his head back startled. Another push signaled the blond to step closer and without hesitation, Oliver did so. His mind started to fill up with thousands of questions he wanted to ask Fukase, but he knew he had to await Fukase's reaction now. Holding Oliver by the wrist surely wasn't the only thing the redhead had in mind. Oliver looked up confused into the red orbs above him, which were eyeing the room suspiciously. The blond noticed Fukase's left eye didn't appear normal. A film of blood red stains covered the white of the eye shimmering through dully. He could tell how that could have happened but he bit his lip when he only faintly imagined how terrible that must have been for Fukase.

He couldn't get any further with his thoughts as Fukase leaned in closer to his ear. His voice was strange. Much lower and raspier, as if he had strained it way too much lately.

"Listen, I know what's going on here. You do too. They surely tried to delete our memories, without much success. That doesn't mean we can chitchat here though. You got that?"

Oliver flinched slightly as these words echoed in his ear. Such a harsh tone was unusual to hear from Fukase. Especially the way the redhead turned down their conversation pierced through the smaller one's chest, but Oliver tried to act composed. This situation was about to overwhelm him, but the blond knew he had to stay strong now if he didn't want to let his chance of talking to Fukase get away that quickly.

Fukase straightened his back again and let his gaze waver through the hall. Oliver just silently stared up the redhead's face, unable to say anything.

"We mustn't talk much or else they'll suspect something."

"But I can't just not talk to you!" Oliver jolted out of his frozen state and frowned confused. He understood what Fukase's point was, but sticking to that idea was out of mind for the blond. Oliver received an annoyed sigh and went back silent as Fukase's harsh glance darted through his eyes once more.

"Deal with it, and now get lost," Fukase grunted and pushed the blond aside so that he tripped and fell on his back. Oliver looked up perlexed over what Fukase just did. This was nothing the boy ever expected to come from the redhead. His push still tingled on his skin and his body burnt from confusion. This was not the Fukase Oliver had known before, this was a totally different person.

The blond watched Fukase getting dragged away by one of the leaders before slowly standing up and hurrying back to his place. Oliver didn't understand. This scene just now didn't seem realistic, none of it did. He didn't know what to do about it and just wanted to run. Run away from what this place has become. These changes were too much for the blond and he felt like he was about to choke on that weight on him.

Oliver had known from the beginning on, returning to the building would only hurt him more than staying in there in the first place. He didn't expect it to rather hurt him mentally, whatsoever.