brave//5SOS

4

Emily

I slipped my leggings and Calum's hoodie on then sat down on his bed. Just when I was about to call him, he came through with a hairdryer.

"Feeling any better?"

I shrugged and hung my head down. Physically, I guessed so.

Nothing could put me out of this mood though.

"Ok, well you have a think about what you want to eat while I dry your hair," he said.

I had no clue. I got that they were doctors, but they didn't seem to understand how hard it was for me to keep myself alright. My brother Jack was no help and my mum doesn't wake up much anymore- I'm on my own.

The whole time, I stared straight ahead.

"Alright chic, what're you gonna eat? You can choose anything but preferably something that doesn't take ages to make," he said cheerfully, putting the hairdryer down.

"Can I just have an apple? I'm not hungry," I mumbled.

I was hungry- I didn't feel like eating. Everything was just so much effort now, and I didn't have time to make sure I'd eaten.

"I know you're hungry. Why don't you want to eat Emily, has anyone said anything to you?" he asked, sitting down next to me.

"No, which is exactly why I don't think about eating. No one other than you guys and Tom make sure I'm ok. I have other priorities, my brother isn't there for me then mum lays there because she is dying and I'm just a mess! I don't feel like eating or anything,"

He flicked the hair from my face and tried to quieten me down.

"I just want to be with mum,"

"Well, I'm here for you now. I know you want to be with her, Emily, but how would she feel if she could see you right now? Tonight I'll just make you a sandwich as it's late, but tomorrow you will be having proper meals," he sighed.

I nodded and stood up, wanting to leave the awkwardness behind. We both walked downstairs but I joined Michael back on the sofa while Calum made my food.

He took my weight- which granted, wasn't a lot- and gently rubbed my shoulder.

Everyone was already in a conversation so I got my phone out and saw several texts on my home screen.

Jack: Why are you not staying here?
Jack: We aren't even arguing
Jack: You're so pathetic, they're gonna think I can't look after you
Jack: You're literally fine what are they even on about
Jack: Just ignore me then, night

I rolled my eyes and carried on scrolling through the messages until it was someone else.

Tom: Your brother just messaged me on instagram saying you weren't going home. Please text me , are you ok?
Tom: Nvm he said you're with Ashton. Please just talk to me later. You don't even talk to me in school anymore and I miss you

"Damn it," I mumbled under my breath.

"What's up?" Michael said, turning to me.

"I've been really selfish and ignored Tom. I've messed up so much today," I groaned. Calum brought me a sandwich and a glass of water, so I turned my phone off and put it to the side.

"You can sort it out, he's clearly worried about you. You've not messed up, it's just a stressful time,"

Ashton kept looking at me while I ate. Slightly unnerving. As if I could get away without eating anyway. To be honest, as soon as I got the food I felt super hungry.

I easily finished it and got up to put the plate in the kitchen.

"There's yoghurts in the fridge or crisps in the cupboard," Ashton said. I grimaced, knowing he was trying to be nice but not being able to bear anything else.

Since my phone was in the living room, I went back in and decided to text Tom.

Emily:
I'm so sorry. It was selfish of me. I should've talked to you and I didn't but please can you forgive me???

Tom: I'm ok with the fact you didn't speak even though I'd rather you did in this situation. I'm more concerned with how you are? Why are you with Ashton? Do you wanna come to mine?

Emily:
I'm gonna be fine, I've just showered and I'm eating, and actually ready to sleep for once. My brother is just ignorant and loud but I'm fine here.

I waited for him to reply but he just kept deleting the messages. He was truly my only friend through this all, and I needed him. Times when I'd been past my breaking point, in so much agony and heartache, he stayed by my side.

Even though it was terrifying for him as well.

Tom: Good, just text me if you need me. I'll let you sleep now :) x

Emily:
Oh, ok... night

"Is it ok now?" Michael whispered. I nodded and brought my feet onto the sofa.

"I don't wanna sleep on the sofa but I'm tired, and I wanna be up early in the morning- can I sleep now?" I asked.

"Why are you getting up early?" Luke said.

"To visit mum... I can go right?" I said. Surely they could sound how desperate I was. Mum would wonder where I was. I needed to see her.

"Hun, you need to have a day off... we think you should just spend a day in a relaxing environment with us," Ashton said.

"I don't need a day off! I just want to see my mum, what if she worries about where I am? Please can I go?" I begged.

"No Emily, it's really not good. Soon you're going to get really sick and the amount of stress on your body is awful. I'm sorry but there's no arguing. You aren't going," he said firmly.

"Fine. I'm going to bed," I huffed.

Before anyone could stop me, I stormed upstairs and went into the first room I saw.

Tears were rapidly falling down my face.

I buried my head in the pillow and just laid there.

Silent.