brave//5SOS

17

2 months later
Ashton

"You've done these before, you know you can speak to me and listen to music so there's nothing to be worried about," I said calmly as we arrived at the MRI scans.

Every so often, she had to have a cancer screening and honestly, I was worried. The past few weeks had brought up all my alarms and I was calling for a lot of tests today.

"There's the results to worry about. You're no better than me at hiding things and I can tell you've been watching me closely," she mumbled, hugging me one last time.

"No matter what happens, you're going to be ok,"

For both of us, the scan was stressful; they always were. Nothing came up that worried me at a quick glance, but I wasn't leaving it there. Calum met us both and I looked over more deeply now, seeing that her lymph nodes were slightly swollen.

"Can I feel around your neck, weird request I know," I chuckled, watching her nod. She looked sad. She looked terrified. She clearly wanted to leave and the day had barely started.

"How bad is it?" she asked quietly.

"I can't tell you yet, we've not done the tests. It's not affecting your organs at this point though,"

"What do you think it is?"

She moved so Calum could do the blood test but her eyes were burning into mine.

She already knew something was up.

I didn't want to say it. She'd freak out because she'd already had it once but she really wasn't in trouble. Leukaemia.

"I don't want to make a decision yet, I know it's hard but let's wait until after the tests,"

She groaned and loosely held my hand as Calum did the blood test. It wasn't hard to tell that she was on the verge of tears- she was terrified.

Calum sent the blood to be analysed and I made sure she was doing ok.

"Let's get you some lunch," I said, smiling and squeezing her hand. She smiled back and nodded, then let go so I could leave. Hospital food was never anyone's favourite so I got her a sandwich instead.

When I got back, she was laying on her side and staring into space. Her arm hung over the side of the bed but when I made her jump, she swung it into my face.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to do that," she grumbled, faceplanting the bed, "Sorry,"

"It's ok, eat this because there's one last thing we need to do,"

She didn't bother arguing but her mood somehow dropped even more. Her body was frail and pale- I knew this time round it would be a lot harder.

Calum was putting all the data into the computer and I paged Michael.

"Ash, I'm not hungry," Emily mumbled, pushing the sandwich towards me.

"I know you feel nervous and tired but you really need to eat,"

"Ashton,"

"I know it's hard Emily, it's so important to eat though," I said calmly, brushing the hair out of her face.

Her lip started trembling and I felt helpless. This was the girl who never cried in treatment. I climbed onto the bed with her and held her small body close to my chest.

"Come on hun, its ok. The quicker you eat this, the quicker we can do this final test and go home. Everything is alright,"

She nodded and ate, staying in my arms the whole time. Michael and Calum had a quiet conversation in the corner until she was done.

"We need to take a sample of your bone marrow from your hip, you won't feel a thing though," Michael said, freaking her out a little. I rubbed her arm gently and kissed her head.

"You can have a relaxer if you want," Calum said, putting a cover over her shoulders. I slid off the bed and held her hand.

"Yes please,"

He gave her the relaxer and then we moved her onto her side. Michael pulled her shorts below her hips and cleaned the area, making her flinch.

"Sorry," she muttered.

"You don't have to apologise," Calum said softly, holding her in place as Michael numbed her. She reached up and held his hand, closing her eyes and scrunching her face up. She was breathing heavily and slowly, and seeing her go through this pain-again- hurt me.

It hurt me so much. She was just a kid, but she'd never had a childhood. I loved her so much, and wanted to protect her like I always had, but it seemed to be more and more impossible.

"Is that feeling numb yet?" Michael asked, watching her nod.

Calum came round the front and held her hand, while I made sure she kept in the right position. He slid a thin needle into her bone and filled a syringe with liquid bone marrow. Even through the relaxer, you could tell it was uncomfortable for Emily.

Then he pushed a larger needle down to get another sample. She held Calum's hand tighter and bit her lip, listening to Cal trying to calm her down.

As soon as it was done, I applied pressure to the area and Michael left to get the results sent off.

"It's over now, I'm just making sure it doesn't bleed," I said quietly, feeling her body relax.

"You did so well babygirl, I'm so proud of everything you've done today," Calum said softly, kissing her forehead. I stuck gauze down and pulled her shorts back up, stretching her cover so that her whole body was warm.

"I want to go home, I want to see Luke," she trembled, making Calum wrap his arms round her tightly. Her relaxer had pretty much worn off.

"As soon as Michael gets back, we will ok? Don't cry hun, you're safe with us," he said, kissing her forehead and looking up at me.

"You think it's leukaemia?" he mouthed, biting his lip. I nodded and put my head in my hands.

This would be the hardest round yet... for everyone.