Paired

Paired : Chapter 24

The moment I pulled out of the driveway, I felt better.

Well, not entirely. I wasn't really thinking when I left. I mean, yeah. I had to get out of there. But, I had no idea in heck where I was going.

So, that's why I'm sitting on the edge of the road, waiting for someone to find me. Turns out, cars can't just run on fumes for half the night and sooner or later, the car wouldn't run.

Kicking at the rocks under my feet, I couldn't help but wonder why the universe suddenly had a bad day, and took it out on me.

For once, I wasn't going to sit in the stinking corner and cry.

I wasn't strong.

I wasn't stable.

I wasn't sure.

I wasn't myself.

And I didn't deserve to be loved.

By anyone.

I got up, walked around a bit more, and sat right back down. I wanted to be strong, I wanted to be stable, I wanted to go back to being me.

I wanted to feel like I deserved to be loved.

I had no way to show anyone that could be true. I had no way. None. Zippo. Absolutely none. So, it seems I was the type to sit in the corner and cry.

I knew that was true. So true, to a point that it couldn't be changed. You can't change who you are. No matter how hard you try, how hard you work, you'll still be the same pathetic little girl everyone thinks your are.

And that sucked.

Really bad.

It sucked so freaking bad.

When I first met Fintan, I thought, hey, this guy seems really nice. I mean, how many people in the world are there, but there was one person that was for you.

Not for your sister, or your best friend, or someone else. Just you.

Fintan made me feel like I was myself. And that meant the world to me.

I liked Fintan for a while before I found out he was my pair. He was the cool kid, the one everyone wanted to sit by at lunch, the popular one.

The second after I found out it was him, I was shellshocked. I mean, how could someone so perfect, someone so handsome, be for me?

He walked over to me and asked what my name was. I told him it was Chayna.

He smiled and asked me if I was in his grade, and if I went to school with him.

That was the first night I cried.

I answered him, yes, I've been in your classes since we were little. He said, really? Are you sure? I've never seen you. I nodded and told him we were also partners in gym once. He threw his head back, laughed, and responded that if he could reject me, he would.

That was also the night I banged my head on the door over and over.

I politely smiled and asked if I could excuse myself for a moment. He smiled that smile, and nodded. I quickly ran away, but before I could make it to the library, I felt a strong hand on my shoulder.

He asked me, where are you going? We were talking. That night, I believed it was my tongue that had a mind of its own and responded. But now, I realized that it was all me. What do you want? I screamed at him. I yelled and kicked at him. I hated him.

I wanted him to go away and leave, never come back, and I told him that. He just had a confused look on his face, and asked, have I done something? I wanted to smack him senselessly, beat him up, but my pride wouldn't let me.

That was the night I bit my tongue so hard it bled.

I told him, you hurt my feelings. I remember feeling the hot tears roll down my face. He put a look on his face, and asked for my forgiveness.

I told him I would never forgive him for the pain he caused me, and he should go back to his friends.

He stared at me, and said, why would I want to do that? I said that his friends were more company than I could give him. He looked straight into my eyes, and said sweet words. I want your company, he said, I want you to be the one I depend on. I want you.

That night I wanted to forgive him, so, so badly. But I couldn't. He told me he only said he would reject me if he could because his girlfriend was standing there. This, I've already explained. He wasn't only popular, but he always had girls around him.

I said if he wanted forgiveness, he would have to work for it.

And he did. The night of my sixteenth birthday was when I finally forgave him. I don't want to go into anything, but it was pretty amazing.

Well, at least then.

Thinking about all of this now, I wanted to laugh out loud. I'll tell you one thing, poor Fintan, he really worked for my forgiveness.

I guess that was just one of the things that made me love him more.

But it wasn't like that. So here I am, sitting on the side of the road, waiting for someone, hearing nothing.

But then I was grabbed from behind, and the last thing I saw was the street lights.

Hey my little readers! I'm not big on authors notes, but hey, why not? I wanted to say sorry for the wait and 7.9 reads is amazing! Love you all (: