Paired

Paired: Chapter 13

Chapter 13

I was cold and lonely that night. I wanted Ryan to come back, so bad to the point where it hurts. I wanted him to come back, so I could apologize, and he would reply with a warm, gentle hug. But he wasn't going to. I knew that, deep deep down. But I still couldn't come to my sanity to accept he would be gone for a while.

I went to get off the bed, and suddenly fell. I didn't realize I was weak. I attempted to move again, but failed. I went down headfirst and banged my head on the leg of the metal bed. I felt like I was replaying the scene where I banged my head with Ryan. Although, I don't quite remember it. I quickly braced myself and placed my limp body on the body on the small, uncomfortable metal bed. I shut my eyes and tried to remember Ryan in my mind.

His perfect dirty blonde hair, his freckles under his eyes, his perfect teeth. I could already imagine him coming back. I wanted to be in his arms desperately. I wanted him to kiss the top of my head. Tell me he loved me. Why did I say that I couldn't be with him? I'm an idiot. A stupid girl. A girl who has fallen for love's trap. Nothing was okay anymore. Where would Ryan and I go if we made it together? I didn't want to worry about this anymore. I hope he doesn't hurt himself while away from me. Why, out of all things, would I be so sure that Ryan was mine, and then when I told him to leave, why would I think he wouldn't leave?

I wanted Ryan to be mine. I was in love with him. This wasn't a sloppy romance book love, it was real life, true love, sparks in your stomach that make you giggle love. I would've given my life for Ryan over the fire. And in the end, I wouldn't have regretted it. I wish he would come back. My mind drifted and my eyelids started to flutter with sleep. I only remember seeing a cave marking on the wall before I drifted.

I woke up to a scream. Ryan. Is all my brain thought. I got up and ran, not caring what soreness my body projected. I just needed to find the scream. Ryan. Stop it! I told myself.

Another scream. I took a left and tripped over something. I looked down and it was a body.

I screamed involuntarily. "RYAN!" I hurriedly dragged his body down to the nearby cave.

"Chayna? Is that you?" He asked. I needed him to stop talking. He needed to rest.

"Ryan, stop." I said fiercely, hoping he would get the message.

"Chayna, loving you is like breathing, how can I stop?" He shivered. My heart ached. "Don't tell me to do anything. I've figured out that I want one thing. Rather than love, rather than money, rather than fame, give me the truth?" He asked nervously.

I knew exactly what to say. "I love you Ryan. Always have, always will." He looked at me with discomfort.

"I love you too, but can you help me?" He pointed down to his bloody leg.

"Oh my gosh! Of course!" I helped him clean the bloody mess, and I put him down on the cave floor, because the bed wasn't big enough for his leg room. I climbed on the small metal bed.

"Chayna? Will you come down here?" Ryan asked.

"Yes." I now knew that he needed my comfort as much as I needed his.

I layed down a couple feet next to him. "Do you know what I noticed?" I asked him.

"What?" He said sorely.

"I noticed that you learn to like someone when you find out what makes them smile, but you can never truly love someone until you find out what makes them cry." I said.

"Are you calling me a baby?" He said as he tried to chuckle.

"No," I said with a shaking head. "I'm saying that you can make me cry. and I can make you cry. I don't want to make you cry. I don't want to hurt you. I want you to be happy."

"You know," he said as he was tucking a strand of hair behind my ear, "your truly beautiful. You knew that, right?"

"Ryan, you know that I'm not pretty."

"No, your beautiful. Don't doubt yourself. And I don't want to make you cry, let alone hurt you."

I didn't deserve him. "Why do you want me?" I blurted without warning.

"Because you bring out the best in me. Every time I see you, a smile comes in my face. You brighten my day, Chayna. I can't help it. I live just to be with you." He answered without a moment's hesitation.

"Your a romantic, you know?"

"Sh. Sleep." He commands softly. Before he tells me anymore, I plant a gentle kiss on his cheek. Then I lay back down. But my eyes can't close just yet.

"Ryan, why did you leave me in the first place?" I asked him quietly.

He took a deep breath. "Chayna, I only want you to be happy. That's why I love you. I've never met someone so ignorant, rude, or incapable of doing something so wrong. But I've never met someone so beautiful, talented, and cheerful. Your also comforting, and I know that's why I want you around me. I've never loved someone more in my life. I feel like if you want me gone, it's for the better." These words hurt me deep down.

"What about you? I can't live without you it feels like and you know what's best for me. I just want you, only you, and that's all I've wanted for a long time. I'm sorry what I said before. I felt like if I hurt you in the first place, you wouldn't want me," I choked back a sob. "Your the best thing that has happened to me."

He looked at me and smiled. A true, unfamiliar smile. A unique, one of a kind smile. Nothing near a smirk. "I'll never leave you, Chayna."

"Ryan, one day you will. Eventually."

"No, I won't." He said back forcefully.

"Ryan, one day you will ask me which is more important: my life or yours?" This was harder to say than I personally expected.

"I will say mine and you will walk away not knowing that you are my life."

"Chayna," he whispered, so gently. "I love you, please sleep, for me. I'll sleep too. Go back on the bed. I don't want you to hurt your back."

"But-" I started to protest, but he placed a soft kiss on my nose.

"Sleep, darling." He told me again, and I listened. I climbed back onto the bed, and quickly drifted away.