Christmas in my house is usually spent, half at my dad's and the other half at mom's. I love this time of year. The snow, the decorations, it's all so pretty. It's a time for family, fun, happiness, and of course, love.
Oh love. What would we do without it? Love can make you feel absolutely incredible and yet hurt you so much at the same time. Strange.
That's how I was feeling as I helped mom put up our tree. Mom dosen't like evergreen trees, so we put it up only a couple days before Christmas, and take it down before new years eve. She has a weird system for traditions.
We don't go all out with stringed popcorn, actually, I don't know anyone who still strings popcorn. Just lights, a few ornaments, and of the star on top. Simple.
Benji is sitting on the couch watching us do the work, lazy little brat. I say that with love though. Mom put the star on and then stood back to admire it. "What a lovely tree, you two agree?" She asked, smiling a mom smile at us.
"It's awesome mom." Benji said. "Really awesome." I added. She went to start dinner so I sat with Benji on the couch. My phone was going off repeatedly with texts from Scott, Alyssa, and Megan.
Everyone was excited for the nice kind of long, break from school. I hadn't really been paying any attention to the conversations. I was too messed up right now to care about anything. I love Aaron.
It was like a ball and chain around my ankle, no matter how hard I try to remove it or run away from it, it's still there. What am I going to do now? It's not like I told him how I feel. I doubt he would ever remotely feel the same about me.
Guys like Aaron don't go for girls like me. Plain and simple. I'm not ugly, but I'm not completely beautiful like Alyssa is. It was a fluke for Scott to even like me, it would be an absolute miracle if Aaron did.
So many problems, and really no sign of solutions. Why did this even happen? Why do I love him? Maybe because of the way he constantly trys to cheer me up. Or, how he says little things that just...Get me.
It's nearly impossible to figure out exactly why you love someone. Like, you can't pinpoint it. With Scott, I knew I loved him barely a month after we started dating, (Yeah I know, I give Alyssa crap about falling in love fast, I'm such a hypocrite)
It was easy to fall for him though, he bought me flowers, left me cute messages on my voicemail, stuff like that. But now with Aaron...It's so different.
I've known him for almost four months, and we haven't even dated in those months. How do you fall in love with someone you've only kissed once, a drunk kiss at that. But I do love him. I'm totally sure of it. I'm in love with two amazing guys. Sigh.
And I have no idea of what I'm going to do. Christmas morning was spent with dad, Terri, and Lola. We had a big pancake breakfast and opened presents. Well, mostly watched an excited out of her mind Lola open gifts.
Benji and I got smaller more exspensive things, iPods, video games, that kind of stuff. We are spoiled after all.
Terri took about a million pictures of us. Pretty annoying, but it's the holidays, so no complaining. Since the divorce, mom spends time with her parents until Benji and me come home to open stuff with her.
Around 3 in the afternoon we give hugs and go back home to mom's house. The rest of the day the three of us cuddle together on the couch and watch classics like, How the Grinch stole Christmas, and Frosty the snowman.
Some of the best memories of my life are of the three of us on that couch. Later on Scott comes over quickly so we can exchange the gifts we got eachother.
My gift to him was a special watch that I've heard him talk about, his to me was a sparkly sliver heart bracelet that I promise to where all the time. He can't stay long because his mom needs his help with the Christmas party she throws every year.
I was invited, but I decided to stay with my mom and Benji. After he leaves I go into the kitchen to steals a couple more sugar cookies. Naughtly little thief, I know. My phone rings, I read the caller I.D.
It's Aaron. I almost choked on my cookie. Should I answer or let it go? I debate. Finally I give in and answer. I have such an overwhelming need to hear his voice. Yep, I'm in love. Sigh.
"Hello?" "Merry Christmas!" He says all cheery. "Yeah, you too." "How's it going so far?" He asked. I felt strange talking to him now after realizing my true feeling for him. He dosen't know anything's different though, so I'll try not to act weird. Keyword, try.
"Oh, you know, plenty of presents and cookies. How are you? You're not alone right?" I asked. "Well I am for now...But I'm sure Mr. and Mrs. Knight will show up later." he sighed. "Your parents aren't even going to spend Christmas with you?" I demanded.
That pissed me off. Who dosen't spend holidays with their son? He chuckled. "I'm okay with it really, sometimes I just prefer being alone." He said. "And is this one of those times?" I asked.
Now I'm upset and pissed, he's always alone. Ugh. Maybe I should take him some cookies, surprise him like he does when he randomly shows up to my house. Except that I don't know where he lives. Kind of defeats the whole purpose. Damn.
"Yeah, I guess it is one of those times, the house feels kind of peaceful, I wouldn't want them here to disrupt that." He said. I sighed. "What are you doing?" I asked.
"Started a fire in the fireplace a minute ago...Now I'm about to go pour myself a nice huge glass of eggnog and see how long it takes before I throw up." He said. I smiled. "Stomach dosen't agree with eggs?" I guessed. "Nope."
"You could always come over to my house you know. My mom really likes you, she wouldn't mind." I said. He was quiet for a moment. "No, I mean thanks, but no thanks. I've already intruded on your family enough." He said.
"Don't think like that Aaron, you wouldn't be intruding!" "Okay, fine, I wouldn't be intruding whatever. But I'm gonna stay here." he said. This felt like a no win situation so I let it go.
"How have you been feeling since the...you know, attack?" I asked quietly. "Good, honestly. I have a feeling that I won't be having another one for a long time." he said. "Good." I sighed. "Yeah."
We were both silent for a little bit. "Oh wow." he muttered all of a sudden. "What is it?" I asked. He chuckled. "Carolers, a whole bunch of them are singing across the road from my house." he said. "Can you hear what they're singing?"
"Uh, no, probably jingle bells by the look of it... God, I really hope they don't come over to my house- Damn! Too late they're here." I laughed.
"Carolers aren't bad, you should go out and listen to them." I suggested. "I don't like people singing in front of my house, it's just really awkward." He said. "Where are you at?" I asked. "Hiding behind the curtain looking out." He replied in a whisper, like the singers were going to hear him.
"Aaron." I sighed. "Crap, they're all old people, now I feel bad." he continued to whisper. "Why do you feel bad?" I asked, trying not to laugh. "I don't know, old people out in the cold...I feel like I should give them something..." he mused.
"Like what?" "Hmm...I'm not sure...Oh wait I know! Hold on one second Chloe." He said. I could hear him set the phone down and open a door. A couple minutes later he was back.
"Wow it's pretty cold out." he said. "What did you give them?" I asked, super curious. "Uh, a bunch of coupons for free smoothies from that new place." he said. I laughed. After a moment he started to laugh with me.
"That's so random." I said. "I know!" he laughed. After our laughter died down he sighed. "Thanks for calling me Aaron." I said. I was glad we had a nice little conversation together. "Any time Chloe." He said, repeating what I had said to him in the nurse's office. I bit my lip. "Oh, and Chloe?" "Yes?" "Remember how I once said that you owed me?" he asked.
"Yeah..." I replied hesitantly. "Well, you don't any more." he said. "Aaron-" "Merry Christmas Chloe." he cut in. There were so many things I could have said to him right there. So many things...But I didn't, because I wasn't really sure how. Because I'm a coward. I took a deep breath. "Merry Christmas Aaron."
