Fine On My Own (Minho x Reader)

Harbouring Guilt

"God I should've known he'd do this," Y/N cursed herself as she and her friends ran through the camp, causing a complete ruckus. Thomas, even though he'd once been a runner, managed to trip over himself every few steps and knock over a variety of different things. Y/N nearly ran over a couple of people who had just crawled out of their beds, one of which being Jorge. He screamed something at her. Newt was probably the least problematic one, but he too took out out a couple of boxes of supplies.

As they finally reached the edge of camp, the group could see Minho in the drivers seat of the rover with his hands on the wheel. His brows were furrowed and jaw clenched. Y/N could tell his mind was racing at a million miles an hour and could only imagine the pain he was in. He'd just found out his best friend, who he'd swear he'd seen die for the second time, was alive. In all of his time locked away in the WICKED facility in the last city, the simulations were the worst. He hated them. But, all of this was making him wonder if he was still in there and this was some new kind of torture. He began to question if everything he and Y/N were was even real or if he and his friends really made it to paradise.

Minho felt so sick to his stomach that he couldn't even press down on the gas pedal. Placidly, he just sat there staring at the slightly worn dirt path before his eyes. The road back to Alby.

"Minho!" Y/N cried, making one last vigorous push to get to the rover before he left. "Don't go!"

"Don't go." She said again, shutting off the rover. To her surprise, Minho remained unmoving.

Slowly, the dark haired boy looked up and met Y/N's eyes. His hands were shaking and eyes became glassy. Pursing his lips, Minho shifted his focus away and clenched the wheel, taking in a sharp breath.

"What's going on?" Y/N asked. "I understand if you want to go look for Alby—but I know somethings wrong."

Minho hated this heavy feeling on his heart. It just ached and was a burden all of the time. "I don't know. But I need to go. If Alby's still alive, we can help him."

Y/N stood quietly, thinking.

"If you're going, we're coming with you. No objections." Newt laughed slightly, causing Minho to crack the smallest of all possible smiles. "Now scoot, let Thomas drive this time round."

"You sure that's a good idea?" Thomas questioned. He'd only driven the rover a couple of times, and Vince certainly wasn't pleased with his performance.

"Well, you know how to operate it. Better than nothing." Newt shrugged, hopping into the back of the rover alongside Y/N. "Let's get going!"

Thomas truly was an insane driver, but that didn't matter. The morning sun painted the world in an orange light that made everyone feel like, to some extent, that the world was alright. It was warm and calming, almost like those distant memories of the Glade on early mornings. He knew it was insane, but Minho almost missed being a runner. There was something to the simplicity of running the maze, coming back to find Y/N in the medjack hut and falling asleep, knowing he was safe, that he missed. The time spent in the Glade was one of simpler times with half as much pain and emotional burden than the past few months.

Minho knew he had a lot to be thankful for. He was alive, breathing and finally in a place where he wouldn't be treated like something other than human. At his side were his friends who he'd been through hell and back with, and most importantly, Y/N. The two of them had a history like no other.

Slowly but surely, the world passed by and the familiar sight of the dilapidated city Y/N and Minho had just visited appeared. Unfortunately, it looked far larger than they originally remembered. How they were supposed to find one person, Alby, in this massive place, they had no clue. He could be anywhere by now, or worse, already out of the city.

Even if they did locate Alby, Newt was afraid of what they might find. Sure, he could still be alive, but who was to say he was partially immune just like he was? What if the Flare had only gotten worse, and his face was unrecognizable? The blonde tried not to think about it.

With aching bodies and tired eyes, the Gladers jumped out of the rover, now parked on the outskirt of the city. It was just after noon now, and the group knew they only had a few hours to search before they'd need to regroup and set up camp for the night. If they decided to stay, that was.

"Alright, Thomas and I will head north, Y/N and Minho, you two take the western section. Check the last place you saw him first, though. Sound alright?" Newt asked.

Y/N nodded for both herself and Minho since he didn't seem responsive. Something was off. Not many things bothered Minho to the point that he lacked wit and his regular energetic nature. But whatever was on his mind right now was completely stripping him of his normal demeanour.

"Good that," With Newt's words, he turned on his heel, dragging a hesitant Thomas along with him. Thomas was just as much aware of something being wrong with Minho as Y/N and Newt, he just seemed to be the only one making it obvious.

"Shouldn't we stay with them? I mean Minho looks really messed up—" Thomas leaned over to Newt.

"There's a reason I'm leaving them alone," Newt raised his brow. "Y/N can set him straight."

Y/N watched as her friends walked away and disappeared down a dingy alleyway. Minho still stood at her side completely placid and emotionless.

"We should get going," He said, starting off down the corridor to their left.

"No," Y/N ran in front, stopping Minho with a hand on his chest. "You're going to tell me what's going on with you before we go look for Alby."

Minho looked down to Y/N, almost slightly offended. "Nothing's wrong with me."

Y/N scoffed, clenching her jaw. "You're not acting like yourself. It all started once you saw Newt, then you ran off and tried to drive away in the rover alone. That was stupid, you know?"

Minho didn't say anything. Y/N grew impatient. "If this is about us not knowing Alby was following us all this time, you can't be mad at yourself. How were we supposed to know he was still alive?"

"How many of the boys do you think are actually still alive, or could be if we hadn't given up on them so soon?" Minho finally broke out. "Zart? Winston? Chuck? We shucking saw Gally AND Newt die right in front of us, and they're still alive. What about the others?"

Y/N sighed, lowering her eyes to the ground. "Minho—"

"We could have kept them alive!" He cried out. "Who ever wrote the rules saying we were the only ones who got to live?"

Minho was now on his knees, crumpled to the ground. His chest heaved up and down uncontrollably and his breath was hitched. "I don't think anyone did." Y/N sat down beside him, reaching out to grab his shoulders. "But, you can't put it on yourself, because it was out of our control. We didn't know about partial immunity. We didn't know about Gally's unwavering will to survive." She laughed softly, trying to break Minho from his horrible spiral of thoughts.

After a couple of minutes, Minho seemed to settle a little. Maybe, if lucky, Y/N had set his mind straight and he'd slowly begin to let go of some of the guilt that had been festering inside of him for months, if not years.

"Are you ready to go now?" Y/N stood up, holding out her hand to Minho. Hesitantly, he raised his head up and nodded weakly, taking Y/N's hand. 

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A/N: for anyone who's interested, I have the first chapter of my new Newt fic up, and the second will be uploaded tonight! (: