15: The News

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"Hello! You must be Mr. and Ms. Joseph?"
They nodded.

"Alright, so she's physically stable, she may have an upset stomach and bowels over the next day or so. She may have trouble eating for the first week, so start with the BRAT diet and bland foods, preferably softer foods. We will prescribe her some medicine for her system to recover over the next week or two. We will also give her some basic mood stabilizers and we have set up an appointment with a psychiatrist/therapist so that her meds can be changed as needed. Any questions?"
Jenna, Tyler and I looked at each other.

"Uh, when can I go home?" I asked.

"Well, we'll do a re-evaluation tonight and if it's all good, we can send you home tomorrow around noon. How does that sound?"

"That sounds good, thank you." I said.
For the rest of the night, Tyler, Jenna and I all hung out and talked. Josh came over and played some board games with me, and totally threw all the pieces at me when he lost. Sadly, Josh had to leave when visiting hours were over, and Tyler stayed overnight while he told Jenna she should go home and sleep. I told Tyler he should too, but he refused, he wanted to stay.

The doctors did a re-evaluation, and said I'd be good to go home tomorrow. But mentally, I would have to be under parent supervision for the next week until my therapy appointment to get my meds settled. Don't get me wrong, I love mom and dad, but I like my alone time. Either way, I was happy I'd get to go home.

After the doctor left, it was about 9:30pm and Tyler started fidgeting with his hands before he asked me a question.

"Uh...Marie? Where are all of your, um, blades?"
He knew it was an uncomfortable question to ask, he didn't even like asking it, he kept looking at the floor. I sighed.

"They're in my bathroom, under the sink in the back."
"Okay. Promise that's all of them?"
"I promise."
He gave me a small smile. We talked a bit more about my self harm. When it started, how long I've done it, where I got the blades, why I do it, etc.

"I wish I could stop, but...it's not that easy."
I looked down.

"Yeah, trust me, I know. Our brains are sick and that's okay, we just have to make sure we take care of them. Some people need a bit more care than others, but that's alright. We're just broken people trying to make it through this life. Everyone is here to help, okay? If you ever feel like self harming, come talk to me, Jenna, or Josh, and we'll help you out. I'll be with you for most of the week, but you'll also be with Josh when I have to leave, he'll babysit you."

I gave him a small half smile and a nod to show that I was listening and cooperative. I began to re-think the recent events, and started to get upset, I was trying not to cry but Tyler seemed to notice anyways.

"You okay? What's wrong?" He looked saddened.

"I....I just. I feel like shit. I feel so lonely and tired and a-angry. I'm feeling so much and I'm exhausted. Could y-you do something for me?"
"Of course, anything."
I bit my lip, trying to think if this would be a weird request.

"Could you come here?"
He smiled at me, and I scooted over under my scratchy but warm hospital covers. He laid down next to me and I snuggled into his chest. I felt the slow rise and fall of his breathing and it calmed me down.

"Hey dad?"
"Yeah?"
"I love you."
"I love you too, kiddo."

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