If Only

Chapter Fifteen: Submerge

I couldn't help but replay today's events with Jared, a silly grin spreading across my face.

A wave of melancholy washed over me as I realized the day was drawing to a close. I let out one last groan before entering the grand gate of our house.

Hanging the strap of my bag, I let it slide onto the floor as I pushed open the oversized front door. I had planned on heading straight to my room to have some time to myself and reflect on the earlier events, but my steps faltered when I spotted Glenda pulling a massive suitcase and several packed bags. She was dressed as if she were about to embark on a long journey.

Dropping my bag on the floor, she must have heard the thud, because she raised her head and looked at me, a sad smile playing on her lips.

"What's going on? Glenda, why are your things all packed up?" I hurried over to her, instinctively wrapping my arm around her shoulder and grabbing one of her bags to help.

She offered me a smile that seemed forced. I peered into her eyes, which were slightly teary and red. I placed the bags on the nearest couch and gently turned her to face me.

"What's wrong, Glenda? Are you... Are you leaving?" I managed to keep my voice steady, though accepting the possibility was difficult. I didn't know what I'd do if she left... I could feel tears welling up in my eyes.

"I'm sorry, iha... but I have to..."

"You're not coming back?"

Images of her leaving and never returning flashed in my mind, but they vanished as she reassured me, shaking her head vigorously and reaching out to hold both my shoulders.

"Oh, no, no, no, iha, not permanently... I have to go home... for a while. I need to be with my sick son..."

Finally, I could breathe again. The tears that I'd held back began to flow, one after the other. I responded with an awkward laugh, using my wrist to wipe away the escaped tears.

Still, the thought of Glenda leaving saddened me. I didn't know how long she'd be gone.

Summoning my courage, I lunged forward, wrapping my arms around Glenda and pulling her into a tight hug.

She was shorter than me, and I heard her muffled laugh. "I will be back, iha. You won't even realize I'm gone." As she released me, she held my cheeks and kissed me warmly on both sides, nearly bringing tears to my eyes again.

My mother appeared nearby, already dressed and holding her car keys.

"Hi, sweetie... You're home. Would you like to come with me to drive Glenda?"

I didn't need to think twice. I swiftly picked up my bag from the floor and then gathered some of Glenda's belongings, guiding her toward the door.

*****

At the airport, my mom comforted me with gentle backstrokes, trying to ease my emotions. Tears streamed down my cheeks even as we rode in the car.

The sudden realization that I wouldn't see Glenda for a long time hit me hard. While she assured me it would only be a short absence, it felt like an eternity.

She pressed a final kiss to my cheek, and I held her in a lingering embrace before bidding goodbye.

As I watched her ascend the escalator, her waving hand a distant sight, I couldn't hold back the sniffles and silent sobs. My feet felt rooted to the ground, unwilling to leave the airport, unwilling to accept her departure. The passing minutes felt like endless hours. Glenda cared for me in a way that went beyond the role of a nanny. She possessed a patience and love that rivaled a mother's, and our bond was far deeper than mere duty.