i was a cringe teenager (not much has changed)

(9) loving you is the best i've got.

he makes me feel like i'm on the highest branch.
he is heartbreakingly gorgeous.
it almost pains me to look at him.
it's a pity really,
how someone so lovely could be so broken.
and at the same time it is as if it's meant to be.
he's meant to be art.
he's meant to be poetry.
but unfortunately all artists are sad.
which is why he is sculpted into a wretched statue.
and i will not call him beautiful,
for it is too overused a word for someone so rare.
he is an enduring and consuming passion.
he is a safe place.
i've seen sides of him that i was unknown too,
i've watched him change a little everyday.
each moment,i've learned something about him.
every little detail registered carefully into my memory.
he is the most incredible painting ever made.
i'd never thought you could love someone so much.
accept them as just they are.
comprise.
sacrifice.
struggle even but only for them.
to be with them.
to fight yet never go away.
never let go.
because when you truly want something to last.
you make it happen.
you stay.
and if it is even possible,
my heart expands everyday to contain all that i feel for him.
because this love never ceases.
it grows and grows.
the branches everywhere.
he's planted a seed in me and  it's almost as if i've taken a part of him in me,rooted.
i feel his pain and his happiness.
he is a spell casted so well that's it's hard to escape.
and i don't want to go.
i want to stay and give him everything that i can.
to never let him feel alone.
i've lost count on how many times i've already said this over and over again.
but this is the strongest emotion i've ever felt.
and i know there are millions of words to express this.
there are thousands of magical songs,
the ones that leave an impact.
the ones that sound like love itself.
but nothing is enough.
he is my kind of perfect,
and after all i do for him,

i only wanna do some more.

something always feels missing.

as if he deserves everything and more.

and i wish i could give it to him.
i wish i could let him know how much he means to me.
that he is the most important person to me.
a priority.
a home.
air.
that he is all that i need.
and that i can for him become all that he wants.
i'd give him all the happiness.
but no one can ever be enough for someone.
you cannot stop people from going away.
and you cannot stop yourself from going away either.
and so all i can do is pray this lasts till i'm here.
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~ Muskan x