i was a cringe teenager (not much has changed)

(12) show me that you love me.

it's funny how you went from being my safe haven to being the person my demons became best friends with.
who knew that your absence was powerful enough to turn me into ashes?
you were just pretend.
but fake love can make you feel so much as well,
and so now i'm drowning in all the hurt you gave me.
i crave your voice more than ever.
this time will you forget me?
or will we be fine once again?
even though you won't ever love me back,
i want us to back where we were.
even if it breaks me,
because you were the only friend i ever had.
i don't wanna cry and remember the day you told me you were family,
or how you always made me fine.
how the sound of your voice made me smile,
or how your silly jokes turned my tears into laughs.
how you'd cry when i did,
and tell me you love me.
i know it sounds so silly,
i can't help but love you.
it's hard not to.
and i wish i could control these feelings,
but you were the reason i was holding together.
and now that you aren't here,
i'm so alone.
lonelier than i thought was possible.
and all these memories are pulling on my heart strings.
tell me if the promises to stay and to never leave were all fake?
all those nights,did they mean nothing to you?
and i know that i might be overreacting.
it's only been a few weeks afterall.
but your presence was such a big part of my day.
you were such a huge part of everything in my life.
and i don't know how it happened.
it's like yesterday that we were strangers.
and now you mean everything to me.
and i hate to want to hate you.
but it's the only way i know to be okay.
someone told me to never forget what a person says when they are angry,
so should i assume that it was all a lie?
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~Muskan x