Social Anxiety | Jensoo

Chapter 9

Jennie's P.O.V

Once she closed the door a speed walk to my car. I look for the pills in my bag and take them.

I did it. I actually hung out with her.

I didn't know what I felt but during the time I didn't feel lonely. I actually felt happy. I could my heartbeat slowly calming down.

She made me feel differently. She got all my favorite things, knew what I like to eat, everything. She seemed so sweet and nice.

She was so different from the other people I met. She was everything I would want to find in someone.

No don't say that your not good enough for her. You're nothing.

Negative thoughts start racing my head. The monster inside me started to come back to me.

I hated it. This monster that controls me. It tells me everything that's wrong with me, what I did wrong, and reminds me of what I've did in the past.

It never wants to leave me alone. It keeps haunting me. It slowly takes pieces of me away.

I start the car and drive home. I start to feel lonely again. The monster still battling with my emotions. I couldn't help but feel tears forming in my eyes.

I pull up to the dorm and lock myself back into my room. I started to cry. The monster finally defeated my emotions and took control.

I felt angry, upset, lonely, and hurt. My chest starts to hurt after crying and crying. Me head sore from after pulling my hair causing more flashbacks of my horrific past.

I wanted it to end. I want the monster to be gone from me. I want to be free for once in my life. Free from pain, judgement, and this monster.

I saw a pair of scissors on my table side.

Do it you dumb bitch. Kill yourself you mean nothing to this world and mean nothing to everybody.

I felt scared and hurt. I could feel the scissors in my hands. I couldn't control it anymore. I felt the sharp blade hit my soft skin.

I felt blood dripping down from my ankle to my sheets. I screamed in pain and in anger. I couldn't stop it.

A/N: Based on true events that happened to me. Thanks to JamlessJasmine for helping me with my anxiety and actually understanding me for once in my life.