Social Anxiety | Jensoo

Chapter 11

2 weeks later

Jennie's P.O.V

It was the day before we present our project. To be honest I'm scared as fuck right now. I want to die and be gone from this.

Our song is called Really. Jisoo originally made the lyrics and I help edit it. Lisa and Chaeyoung were in charge of music and beats.

Everything was perfect. The lyrics fit perfectly with the music. The one thing holding me back is my anxiety.

I kept choking up every-time it was my part. My voice would crack or I would just go blank.

I was so scared.

What if I choke up on stage? What if I go blank? What if the rest of the people start booing at me?

I started pacing back and forth between the living room trying to collect my thoughts.

"Unnie, I called Lisa and Jisoo over to practice."

"Ok, so how are things between Lisa and you?"

"Amazing, I never knew women could do this to me."

"Desperate Rosie."

"Please unlike you and Jisoo."

I went quiet. I did start to have feelings for her. We hung out a couple of times mostly watching movies or eating food that she made.

"Shut up. It'll never happen."

"You always say this but you never know unnie. You'll find your love of your life soon. I know you will."

"Sure. Help me clean the place." I say grabbing the socks on the floor. I don't believe Chaeyoung. All I know is that I was made to not be loved.

I wanted to believe her so bad, but I already know the truth. Love isn't made for everyone. That being me.

30min later

Ding Dong

I take a deep breath and calm myself down. I don't want to mess this up. I open to door to see Jisoo and Lisa.

"Hey guys come in."

"Hey Jennie, hey Chaeyoung. You guys ready for tomorrow."

"Not in the slightest."

They come in and set out lyric sheets and have the music ready for us.

"You all ready to do this."

I nod in response. I had the first line and a rapping part.

Lisa starts the music. Each second leading to my part feels so slow. My heart rate accelerating. I start to sweat.

"If you really, really love me, tell me
Say that you can't live one day without me
Say that you want me, that you're crazy about me."

That was the end of my first line. While Chaeyoung sung Jisoo clapped for me and gave me a thumbs up. She was proud and had a huge smile on her face.

Next was my verse right next to Jisoo's. She started to sing. I suddenly had chills going up my skin. Her husky voice sounding so soothing and luring. I was awestruck.

It was my turn. My rap.

Please don't fuck this up.

"All the girls who are nothing special around you
Stop talking to them and get rid of them all
You just need to come to me anyway
Better act like you know what
Better act like you know what"

The end of that verse. This time my heart beat was moving faster and my breathing wasn't normal.

While they were singing I took my pills just before I started the verse again. I don't want to faint or pass out again.

"Are you ok?" Jisoo mouths as she starts to rub my back. I nod and give her a reassuring smile.

...

After a few hours of practice we were ready for tomorrow. Except for me. Once we were done I ran to my room and started to cry.

The monster inside of me head was taking over my emotions again. The leftover scars on my ankles were still there.

You'll fuck this up tomorrow. Your going to disappoint your friends. You'll lose your friends and everything and everyone will hate you.

I started to cry and pull out my hair. I couldn't stand this monster in me. I couldn't fight it back either.

I kept crying and crying till I heard a small crack coming from my door.

A/N: hi guys. So lots of things have been happening lately and I've done some stupid things as well. Sorry if chapters got bit depressing. I want to thank again JamlessJasmine , AdeptWriter , and Mana_Dark for helping me with my ass hurting over love. Thanks you guys ❤️❤️❤️