Social Anxiety | Jensoo

Chapter 35

Happiness

It was a word that we all strive for in life. For Jennie, she was happy. Happy in a way that she was able to smile genuinely. She was able to think clearly and with the term social anxiety, it wasn't easy to do so.

You may think that it fully goes away but it doesn't. After concerts, the tingly sensation in her hands and thoughts still swirl around in her head. It may sound childish but she still gets a little scared when ordering. It wasn't really by choice to get nervous but it was something that she was so used to that she couldn't really shake off the feeling.

To this day she takes medication to help lower the risk of panic attacks. Jisoo always reminds her about it. After her first panic attack, Jisoo never forgot about Jennie's medication. It served as a way to not only protect her fellow bandmate but to be there for her if there was ever a situation where the medication did work.

It's happened before, during their meet and greets in the Philippines, Jennie was sick and it was getting hard to breathe causing her to panic. Jisoo quickly saw this and gave her water which had eased some of the anxiety. After that, she went to the bathroom to throw up and Jisoo was with her all along. It's not only Jisoo that does this. Every member does.

At the airport, both Chaeyoung and Lisa saw Jennie wasn't very fond of the big crowd. Not that she didn't like the people around her but her insecurities were built up causing her to panic and her eyes start to swell with tears. Both Lisa and Chaeyoung did their best to make her smile which she did. Without them being by her side Jennie could have been a mess. In return, she does the same for all of the members. It's like the golden rule "Do to others as you would want others to do for you." or something along those lines. On days the members weren't feeling well or when times would get lonely during the holidays Jennie would always find a way to include all of them because they were family to her.

After years of living, breathing, and sharing the same space, Jennie has grown comfortable with the members often having sleepovers, trusting them with Ji-Sung. Ji-Sung is Jennie's special gem and is very precious to her. It took her a while to let her open the girls up to him but much to Jennie's surprise, they were so mother-like to Ji-Sung. Hell, even Ji-Sung calls them nicknames to being now an 8-year-old.

Living a job as an idol is not only hard but can be depressing. Like I've said, there are times when things would be depressing during holidays due to schedules and not being able to see family. Fortunately for Jennie, she was always face-timing her son even when she is so tired. Her son is always saying how awesome she was singing or performing making her not only smile but touched. She would take every opportunity, every day off and every holiday to spend time with her son. Always taking her son and mom to whatever vacation she would go on to spend some time to create a stronger bond with the family because family to Jennie was the most important.

Today it was one of Jennie's days off along with Jisoo's. Today they decided to just hang out in the dorm with Ji-Sung. Jisoo and Ji-sung were in the living room playing Mario kart on the switch because why not. It was like they were besties. Always playing games together and having some type of fun. Jennie on the other hand was making the household favorite. Kimchi fried rice with luncheon meat (aka spam).

"Ha, chichi! I won," Ji-Sung said as he jumped from out of the couch and did a victory dance.

"Hey, it was no fair. I burnt out at the beginning" Jisoo playful remarked as she couldn't accept she got defeated by an 8-year-old.

"Take the L," Ji-Sung said as he formed an L on his hand and placed it on his forehead doing his little victory dance.

It made Jisoo smile seeing how energetic and funny Ji-Sung was. She always had a place for him in her heart as Jisoo didn't really have any experience with kids. When she met Ji-Sung for the first time he was 4 and a very outgoing personality which was much different than his mother. But the more they hung out, the more Jisoo can see Jennie in him. The chubby cheeks, his cat-like brown eyes, and the cute nose that he had all were from Jennie. Maybe it's just because Jisoo is in love with Jennie or maybe she lived with her for quite a while she doesn't know, but it made her love Ji-Sung even more.