(C)amomile (studxstud)

Chap 24: Cam Bops.

CAM's POV

It's been a month since everything took place. I heard the laughter around me but I had zoned out completely, that has been happening a lot. I stared at the woman in front of me and the smile on her face was contagious, I looked over at the other woman beside her and she had the same smile spread across her face and it wasn't long before the smile would reach me too.

"Cam," She said.

"Sorry, I must've zoned out again." I said.

"It's okay. I was asking if you wanted a drag," she was offering me her spliff.

I took it and brought it to my lips pulling the smoke into my cheeks. I felt someone wrap their hands around my shoulders and I looked up to see the person that I'll always have love for. She recovered well and was now walking as if her foot was never broken.

"What are you thinking about?" She asked me.

"Things," I flicked the spliff so that the ash could fall off.

"What kind of things?"

"Things that are in my head," I said.

"Well make them come out of your mouth," she urged me to talk to her and so did everyone else but as usual, I said nothing.

"Are you thinking about Tye?

"Always," I said.

"What about Cindy?" She asked.

I looked up and Mona had left us on the deck to go inside for something. We've been out here since earlier trying to get things back to normal but two persons were missing from our crew and my mind wouldn't allow me to behave like things was just okay.

"Always," I smiled.

I've gotten better. I haven't seen Cindy in my dreams since that day I got out of the hospital. Mona has been sleeping at my house ever since, said her house felt way too big and lonely for her and I understood. Most nights all three of us would lie in my bed with me holding onto Mona while she cried her endless tears. We had to move on somehow, we had to get better.

"She'll wake up, I know it." Jay said.

"How? She's dead." My voice held no emotion.

"You know I'm talking about Tye and not Cindy," she hissed her teeth.

I didn't respond. I tried my best to be happy with them. I did. I tried my best to fit in. School wasn't even a good place for me anymore. Sometimes I'd end up at Ace's dorm room bawling my eyes out with her uncomfortably holding me because she didn't know how to deal with tears. She made me laugh sometimes and other times she made me talk about Cindy just to remember her.

I had to get back to my normal self as Cindy had said, it only made sense. I had to move on. It's been a month and Tye was still in her coma. Jay didn't go back to Jamaica because she wanted to be emotional support during Cindy's funeral. Surprisingly, I didn't cry at the funeral. I just sat in the church with my shades on listening to all of her childhood stories, they didn't seem genuine, they didn't seem like the Cindy I knew. When it was my time to go up and read her eulogy, I made everyone knew the jovial person that she was with me.

"Why does it hurt you so much?" I had said in my eulogy.

"Because, I was there for her as she for me and when she died I felt it. She left and she took the sun with her, she took the part of me that cherished our bond. Cindy was my sister and it hurts to be speaking of her in the past tense." I finished.

I still hadn't shed a tear and I wish they understood what I meant when I said I felt when she died because I did. I felt the skin receding from her flesh and the muscles burning away from her bones. There was no scream, it was too sudden for a reaction. The only screams were my own and that was long after it had happened.