A Month In London - A One Direction FanFiction

Chapter 9 - Confessions

Ch.9

A shrill series of beeps seeped into my consciousness and I forced my eyes open, puzzled as I was in some foreign place. I looked around and groaned. I felt cold and alone and the droning beeps were starting to make my head throb. Suddenly someone gently grabbed my hand and I groggily looked over at them.

"Liam!" I exclaimed, tears springing to my eyes. "Oh love, I'm so glad you're alright!" he stooped down and trapped my face between his hands, kissing me and letting his tears mix with my own. I curled my fingers in his hair and pulled his closer.

If I had killed myself, I would not have had this moment, I would've left Liam behind, and I was so glad and grateful that I hadn't. Liam slowly pulled away and looked into my eyes with a sour-sweet smile. "You really scared me you know. I thought I had lost you!" his voice shook, "I realized that I'd never see your big brown eyes again, or see your beautiful smile. I realized I would never be able to kiss your soft, warm lips again, or laugh at how you always accidentally give away the punch line to a joke. The truth is...I realized that I-I...can't...live without you." he looked away and took a deep breath, swiping away a tear with frustration. I gently squeezed his hand.

His words had etched themselves onto my heart and made me feel wanted, NEEDED even, for the first time in my life. But I had wanted to hear those words, the ones that would help my heart to heal its old wounds. But I knew they wouldn't come, it was too early, Liam had been hurt, and I love to easily. Instead I smiled up at him as a tear rolled down my cheek. To Liam, it would look as if I was crying about his words, but in truth, I was crying because I could never truly love again.

Liam left to find my nurse and gave me some time to myself. But no sooner had he left, Lauren came in and surprised me with a bouquet of colourful flowers. "Knock knock!" She placed the gorgeous flowers in a vase and sat on the edge of my bed. I hesitantly met her eyes, knowing she would be disappointed in me. Instead of being met with judging eyes or disapproving words, Lauren just bent down and hugged me tight.

"You scared the shit out of me, you know that?" she whispered jokingly to me. But I knew her words were sincere, and could only imagine what she had gone through when she found out what I had done. She reluctantly let me go and fiddled with a blanket. "I was worried that I had lost you, Cat. I was scared that my best friend had finally given up on herself...on me!"

These sudden confessions were shocking me, making me realize how big an impact I had on the people closest to me. "I'm so sorry Lauren...I didn't think about the consequences." I replied nervously, not making eye contact with her.

At that moment, Liam returned with my nurse and both he as well as Lauren was asked to leave the room. "Quite a fellow you've got there. Stayed by you all night without one rest. He's a keeper, that one." she winked as she ran some quick tests. "Well, that's what I plan, nurse." I replied, the stupidity of my actions seeping in further. "All done sweetie, you're all good to go home." she smiled and handed me some fresh clothes that Lauren had obviously packed. "Just make sure you come back tomorrow for therapy." she mentioned as she left the room. Great.