Song of the Chapter: "I Need Somebody" by Day6
Some elements may be triggering or potentially harmful. Read at your own risk.
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Dear Chan hyung,
I don't feel alive today. It's so cold outside but I can't feel it. I can see it.
The frost covering the windows and Christmas lights people hang outside their doors and over roofs. It's all over the road.
But I can't feel anything today.
I hate it but lately, for these past months, it's all I know for certain.
I don't think I can trust Purge anyways.
He's always putting me through pain whenever I think about other people, even you. Writing this, these letters, make him angry.
I'm contemplating if it's even worth writing these anymore.
You've left me for your happier, popular friends, and I've left you for my images. The dog. The teddy bear. Purge.
It sickens me to think of but I'm starting to like the pain.
Maybe it's because I keep seeing you so happy with your friends and Minho's eyes never falter from you when you're around.
Maybe it's because I hate seeing people together.
It makes me feel more alone.
Felix, December 28th
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Chan was going to kill Seungmin.
He threw the second to last letter onto the ground, his eyes staining with harsh poisonous tears. This so-called "Purge" was wrecking Felix's mental state, he was turning his little Felix against him.
Although some of Seungmin's points seemed to be valid, Chan could've ignored them completely. He would've been totally fine with people throwing around the word "psycho" as long as he was with Felix.
But Felix...
He was sitting on the bed, waiting for Chan to finish the letters. There was nothing Felix could say that would make Chan think any differently.
Purge was sitting next to Chan, shaking his head. He gripped his hands into fists and murmured, "You'll do nothing. He thinks you're insane and you are. You are fucking insane."
Purge walked closer to Felix as Chan picked up the last letter, letting his eyes glide over it as silent as Purge's nonexistent footsteps.
Felix normally would have whimpered or cried out, but he's become numb.
"You're nothing."
You're not wrong.
"I hate you."
I hate myself.
"Why are you still here? Still breathing, taking up so much space?"
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Schizophrenic//Chanlix
FanfictionFelix is special in a way: His brain holds so many dreams and images that they spill out into reality. There is nothing that Felix can do about it but accept it and live his life as a normal human, as he does every day. He's alone, though, and thoug...
