Schizophrenic//Chanlix

Apologies

(Who is your bias in any group?)

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The moment that Chan got the phone call, he was yelling at Changbin to drive faster. They needed to get there ten minutes ago and they were still half an hour away.

He could feel his heart racing and Changbin couldn't help but wish that he had brought the others with him.

It was five in the morning when Chan had pushed Changbin awake and dragged him into the bathroom where he nearly drowned him to get him awake enough to drive.

Apparently, Changbin was the only one around that could actually drive and that was in nowhere close to a good idea.

Especially when he was angrily driving on the highway with no food and next to no sleep as he had been kicked by Jisung while they were sleeping on the floor of Felix's apartment.

He wasn't a good driver to begin with and all these factors were making it even worse.

Multiple people had honked at him when he pulled a move that he probably shouldn't have but at this point, neither of the people that were in the car really cared anymore.

Changbin just wanted to kick Chan out and sleep in the car.

When they finally pulled up to the institution, the tires skidded to a halt against the gray and black and white gravel as Changbin hit the brakes in frustration. Chan, sitting in the passenger seat without a seatbelt on, nearly slammed into the window but managed to hold his hands out.

He broke from the car and Changbin groaned when he saw the mental state of his friend.

If he walked into that lobby, they'd think that he was there to get admitted.

"Chan! Chan, will you stop moving for like, two seconds?!" Changbin yelled, causing Chan to turn to him and wait impatiently for him to continue.

The younger took in a deep breath and got out of the car with a comb and a baseball hat with silver rings in his hands. He walked up to the elder and brushed back his messy hair, taming it, and placing the hat on his head.

Changbin gave him his coat, straightening out his clothes and returning to the car to pull out face wipes that he kept because Jisung had slept in his car more than once after getting into arguments with Minho.

He cleaned Chan's face and found that there was really nothing that he could do about the dark circles.

"You didn't really want little Felix to see you like that, did you?" the younger questioned, "Between the two of us, we're running on five hours of sleep but you don't have to look like it especially for Felix."

Chan thanked the younger and took in a deep breath.

It wasn't until that moment when he was truly facing the building of cold, gray stone and somehow muted colors of early summer that he found himself feeling dread and nervousness.

What would he find in here?

Changbin urged him to the door, the feet of the elder moving without hesitation, and he finally found himself opening the metal blue doors of the building. They opened with a soul twisting creak and he felt like had just walked into the most terrifying horror movie of his life.

The inside was cleanly kept and the people that were there were visiting happily with the people that had been admitted. The attendants wore white but they were all wearing kind smiles, some even sitting with the families and making jokes and laughing with them.

It felt like a family here.

But Chan was terrified of what Felix might have turned into, especially considering that he was taken here in the middle of the night.

There was no knowing what Felix might have seen or what he might have heard or if he was put in a room by himself. If that was the case, Chan's biggest fear was that Purge would have regained control once again.

"Chan! Oh good, I was hoping that you would be here soon."

Chan found himself looking at Siwon as he was standing at the desk with someone else, holding a clipboard and pen in hand. Siwon motioned for him to come over, the younger finding himself numbly moving as his eyes were now darting around to find the familiar angel he loved.

Siwon turned to the person next to him, dismissing Yesung, and picking up Felix's paperwork.

"Please sit," Siwon motioned, Chan sitting down on the chair in front of the desk while Siwon picked up a pair of silver spectacles.

He read over the paper and then spoke to Chan who had his attention now fully turned to the elder.

"Felix, as we found, is certainly capable to stay in society," he spoke, "We were certainly misinformed and it was told to us by him that he was admitted by someone that he doesn't know and had no contact with. On behalf of everyone here, we would like to apologize to both of you for that."

With that, Siwon bowed his head deeply for a moment before moving back to continue to read the report.

"However, there were reports by a few of the assistants that he would refer to someone named Purge every so often, that he was asking that we should call you to keep this...Purge away from him."

Siwon ran a hand through his hair. He hated it when he had to bring this up personally with the families but it was something that they needed to know.

"I am fully aware, as is the doctor, that you and Mr. Lee are in a relationship and that you are very much his anchor to what is and is not reality," he spoke carefully, "But as the doctor has asked me to pass onto you, there are some things that we would like you to agree to before you take Felix out and return home."

Chan sat at the edge of his seat. What could they possibly have to say?

"Felix's state of mind is very fragile, especially with the introduction of a new variable into the mix of this Purge. We see it as a symbol for self-loathing and potentially suicidal tendencies."

Nothing Chan didn't know.

"So Purge's voice fully taking over Felix's mind would be very bad and decidedly unhealthy for him to the highest degree. And we are afraid that since the two of you are together right before you graduate college, you will potentially get into more arguments than normal and that voice will start to become louder again."

Siwon could see Chan calculating things in his mind.

"Not that you are not allowed to get into arguments but we would like those to be argued in the format of a calm, logical debate," he explained further, "And if you witness any of these Purge-like tendencies, please do not be afraid to call us."

It wasn't uncommon for the victims of schizophrenia to be terrified of institutions, as many of them had bad previous experiences with other institutions.

This one was different, and Siwon worked very hard to earn the trust of the patients and to make this hospital more closely related to home than something terrible.

So, the employees were always happy to come to the home with the doctor to assess the situation and if the patient needed to come back to the institution at all.

He needed Chan to understand that dating someone with the mental scars of someone like Felix was dangerous for the other person and that he shouldn't be afraid to do what was in Felix's best interests, even if Felix was too afraid to do it himself.

"I'm going to give you my number," Siwon said, scribbling down a row of numbers on a sticky note and handing it to Chan.

"He is welcome here if something goes wrong and we can discuss later if you feel like Felix needs to be under observation later on," he finished, "Thank you for your patience, Chan."

Chan nodded. That's all he could do. He couldn't thank Siwon for anything other than silently providing him with the last resort option just in case.

Siwon seemed nice enough and he was friendly but his line of work made it hard for Chan to thank him.

He stood up from the chair and Siwon motioned to one of the other assistants to bring in the elder boy, who disappeared behind two gray double doors.