My Husband and Our Lover

Chapter 1 Sorry Not Sorry

"I am so done with the same old same old today Ems. I feel like I'm losing my mind. I need to get back to the real me. I have surrounded myself with these country club wives and don't fit in with them. I mean I could give a fuck less about Mr. Drake's latest Mistress and how Mrs. Drake is starving herself because of it. If I eat one more Caprese salad I'll dig my own damn grave." I vent to Emma on the phone. " Well darling you can just not meet with them like me. I stay far away." she replied. "Yeah but you have a great excuse you run a very successful business with your clothing line and you have your other hobby with the interior design.  Unlike me who gave up practically everything to focus on being a perfect mother and wife." I said defeated. "You were perfect before you became a wife and mother. You don't have to change. Edwin never expected you to change and you can be a working mother being that cutie pie is in academy now. Hell get a nanny and while your at in a maid and a cook. Girl now that I think about it you do way to much in that lavish mansion of yours and for your husband. Hell if you keep it up Jack might start looking to me for dinner and we all know that ain't happening." Emma says on the phone. 

"You know. I just always feel like I have to be Jackie O kinda perfect so that no one looks down on Eddie. I do know that he doesn't expect that of me but reputation including family reputation is everything in the business world you know that. You know what I need is to get out of the house and have some Eddie time before Theo gets out of school. Edwin has been so busy lately and when he does come home it's either late or I'm busy with Theo and he works in his study. You know what I'll make his favorite for lunch and take it to him. He will be so surprised just like when we first got married." I spoke. " I think that is an amazing idea babes. You can even give him a office quickie." she responded. We said our goodbyes and I hung up. I got up and walked to the kitchen getting everything I needed as I felt a rush of excitement to get out and see my love. I think this well be good for us to bring back that spark we had. It never fizzled but it dimmed a little. 

Walking into D.I. I wave to Rachel she is the lovely middle aged lobby receptionist. I tell her that I'm here to surprise for Edwin as I hold up the basket of food. She smiles and nods for me to go ahead through. Getting into my husband's private elevator I scan my hand and head up. I have no idea why I'm so giddy with excitement but I swear I can hear my heart beating. Once the elevator doors open I see Mrs. Jones returning to her desk with a coffee in hand. She is Edwin's personal secretary whom I love like an auntie. She smiles and offers to call Edwin because he is still in the conference room for another twenty minutes in a meeting. I quickly tell her not to and to go ahead to lunch and relax. I explain that I plan on surprising him with lunch. She grabs her purse and leaves with a smile saying how lucky he is to have me. I go to open the door and realize its locked. 'He never locks his door. That's right he is still in the conference room well I'll wait for him inside then' I think to myself as I scan my thumb over the lock. I walk in only to have my heart stop and my world explode. There in front of me is my Edwin, my loving husband, father of my child and best friend thrusting full force into Mr. O'Connell a business partner who is bent over his couch.

They both swing there head in my direction at the same time looking horrified. I have no idea how long I have been there or where the food I was holding went or why my face is soak and wet but  I'm guessing the dropping of the food grabbed their attention. That or my sobbing.  Mr. O'Connell starts to apologize as he is getting dressed. Sorrow covers his face.

Edwin pulls up his pants and fixes himself quickly as he is saying how sorry he is. Fear and panic settle onto his face. He runs to me with his pants unbuckled and wraps me into his muscular arms that was always a safe haven for me but now just seems like and endless tangle of lies. His musk that always comforts me now smells like sex. 'Not our sex though and that's ....well that's just it. I wasn't us. It wasn't him and I it was him and another.' I think over and over trying to grasp the reality of this situation. He starts kissing my face and hair saying how sorry he is and how much he loves me. I just stay silent and in a daze. 'This is a dream right? A bad nightmare? I'll wake up. I just need to wake up.' I think to myself. 'How could this be? How could this happen? I made myself perfect?' I thought. I always knew Edwin was bisexual so the male counterpart is not a total shock to me but the betrayal. The betrayal is making my mind and heart not only shut down but stop all together. He promised to never hurt me.

When we meet my freshmen year of college. Edwin was already the University's biggest player and I was surprised to find out he went both ways and everyone was fine with it. There was no harassment or anything it was like everyone gravitated to him. I grew up in a small town with my Uncle so even though he believed in excepting people for who they are the town was not understanding. I was not use to someone being so open and everyone being so excepting. We ended up having a class and just became friends instantly and after a year an a half of being great friends he asked me to be his girlfriend saying he was madly in love with me. I declined even though I loved him just as much. I wasn't sure about how his sexuality would work in our relationship. I wasn't afraid of it I loved that he was so excepting of who he was and that he lived his life with no fear of what others thought. I envied him in that aspect. I was afraid that he would miss out on that part of himself by being with me and then realize I'm not enough and leave. After a month of cutting off our friendship because he couldn't be with me anymore as a friend he said it was to much torture for him we ended up running into each other at a Halloween party and he convinced me we needed to try. We fell in love even more and after a year we got married. Then a few years after had Theo.

Now I'm here frozen in my husband's arms as he apologizes because I just caught him cheating on me. I slowly and gently pull myself out of his arms and finally look up. I notice the worried and guilty look on his and Mr. O'Connell's faces. I just stare at them for a minute and then say "I told Mrs. Jones to take her lunch. Surprise I made us lunch but I don't feel so well plus you have company and your busy so I'm going to go. You two enjoy your lunch." I say as if on autopilot but as I turn to leave Edwin grabs my arm pulling me back while he shuts the door. "Abigail please let me explain." He said as he hugged me. "Please let go, I need to go home and rest I don't feel so well. I'm sorry I interrupted your .... your ...meeting." I replied in a low weak voice. "No, you are trying to avoid this. I'm sorry I am so fucking sorry I hurt you please let me ex....." that was the last I heard before I passed out.