My Husband and Our Lover

Chapter 6 Lost beyond belief

'His lips. His lips. Their lips. What the fuck?' I say to myself before I snap out of it and push them off me. 'This is happening to much and why for the love of everything that is holy am I so distracted by them and letting this happen. I need to stay away from them. There needs to be rules like don't touch me.' think as I collect myself. "What the fuck do you guys think you're doing?" I yelled.

"Abs, I know what we did....what I did when it comes to cheating was so very wrong we're sorry but please hear me out." Eddie says. "We want to be together..." he tried to say but I intervened with a "No, really I didn't know that wow.... no fucking kidding that's why I want a divorce. Look you can have the house and everything in it. Theo and I will live elsewhere. I have already narrowed it down to three options so it won't be much longer until I choose the right one for us and close the sell. You can have every weekend and we can share holidays plus you can stop by during the week for him just call so I make sure he has no plans or I can even have Mrs. De Luca his nanny bring him to you. O'Connell I would like you to be part of Theo's life sense you and Edwin are together but I feel like first we need to break the news to Theo before we say hey new person in your life. What do you think I'm open to suggestions." I ended my rant.

"If you would stop interrupting me I can give you our suggestions. I suggest that we stay married, love each other, and not split Theo's life in half. I also want to suggest we bring Shane in as our partner. He not only has feelings for me but for you as well." Edwin said in a low sexy voice as he was kissing me all over and holding me close.

"What no I can't do that. We can't do that. The pair of you hurt me. I have no trust. Plus what about Theo? He would be so confused." I say while trying my hardest to get out of Edwin's arms and not to slip in subspace do to Edwin's touch. I hate this. When it comes to him I slip so easily into sub space. It was like I was made just to please him. That was fine before the affair but not now.

"I believe you were right Abigail when you said you are to much for one man not that Edwin hasn't been doing a perfect job but why not let us treat you how you are suppose to be treated let us take care of you. Touch you. Care for you. Let us fulfill your every desire.  Your every need." O'Connell said in my ear as he was sucking on my ear lobe.

"We can't. Think about what people would say. Plus Eddie was my first everything, I can't do the two guys thing I've never even done anal.... Ask Eddie. Believe me he has tried...I always say wait for your birthday or anniversary or Christmas. You know like a gift but when it comes time and I never do it because I'm to scared. I'm not adventurous....trust me I don't even drink dark roast coffee because it seems like in might be dangerous.... I've watched porn and the two men like really give it to the girl like gagging her with their you know.... I can't.... I fucking choke on spaghetti if I don't chew it up well enough....oh god.... Edwin likes BDSM. I try I really do but I'm so scared of pain. I like the pleasure of it but nothing else really.  We have safe words like pineapple meaning to stop well let's just say I scream pineapple so much you would think I'm Hawaiian. Eddie is always like really Abs I just pinched you. Plus I am mad at both of you. See I can't do this...oh my god...my heart is racing.... I can't breath....I'm going to pass out...I'm going to die.... I need pizza." I just spewed word vomit as I was slipping into a panic attack and they stared at me.

"Abs..Abs, calm down I got you I always have you. Breath I'm right here your right here. Your on the my desk do you remember this desk." He talks to me calming me. I nod slowing my breathing. "When you first bought this desk for me you surprised me. Do you remember how? I just got back from a meeting and walk in to see not only this huge new desk but my beautiful wife naked and cuffed to it spread out for me to take. I still don't know how you cuffed yourself up." Edwin spoke calmly as he held me.

"I practiced on our bed for a week while you were at work so that I knew I can do it. The desk was customized from a BDSM furniture shop. At one point I lost the key and Emma had to rescue me. Thank goodness I was on the phone with her while this was happening or I would have been stuck." I replied starting to calm down.

"You my Love are the most perfect woman in the world. I am selfish when it comes to you yes but I do have feelings for Shane and he has feelings for not just me but you too. I'm willing to share what is mine which is you with him because he will not hurt you or take you away from me. He will love you whole heartily with me. We just want to love you and care for you. We will take everything slow on your terms just please say you will try." Edwin spoke. "By the way baby, stop putting yourself down when your nervous. You knew I was a big player before we got together I slept with everyone. Men, women, professors and I can honestly say you are the best I've ever had and everything sex, head, you name it. We don't want to deprive Shane here of that heavenly wonder that you are now do we? Come on baby tell your Master you'll be his good girl and give this relationship a try." He said as he kissed my neck.

"Yes Master." I replied as I slipped way into sub space. 'Why the hell did I say that. Oh fuck I'm going to be so fuck...... literally.' I thought. "But nothing sexual for now Master. I'm not ready for that." I recovered regaining some sense.

"Fair enough. What a good girl you are for telling Master your limits and communicating. How about the three of us go get that pizza you wanted for lunch sense your Master's good girl. What do you think Shane?" Edwin asked O'Connell as he stroked my cheek with his hand.

"Well she was good for you Sir so I believe she needs rewarded." O'Connell replied. 'Wait he said Sir like as in what a sub would call their Dom. He called Edwin Sir. Is he a sub too?' I thought.

"Let's go baby." Edwin says as he grabs my hand while Shane grabs the other. 'What am I getting myself into?' I asked myself.