"нope" [h.s.]

тнe ĸιѕѕ

I can't do this any more. He's face is too close to mine.

"I promise you to never leave you alone darling." With those words I close the gap between us. His lips touching mine. I've gone to sleep thinking how this moment would be, how soft his lips would be. I needed to do it. I couldn't help myself. He is my light. But I know that I'm not his. I hope that after this kiss he's thoughts would change. Our lips moving in perfect sync. After what seems ages our lips parted, me whiling for air. It was amazing .

"You said you couldn't kiss me." He says, with a huge smile on his face.

"I know, but I had to, sorry." I knew that I was as red as a tomato, even worse.

"It's okay... It was... Unexpected. But I've loved it..." I couldn't make eye contact with him. It was too embarrassing.

"I think we should go back to the car..." I say, changing subject. Too much for me in one day.

"Yeah, I think that's a great idea." He says, getting himself to his feet as he helps me.

When we got to the car, there was a tense silence until he spoke up.

"You want me to take you home?" He asks.

"Could you drive me to a hotel? Please."

"Why?" I don't want to make up any reasons. Ugh.

"Because I'm tired and I want to sleep. If I go home, I will not get even an hour of sleep with out a scream." I look out of the window when finished knowing how weird it sounded.

"You can sleep in my house, and safe some money." That's a good idea but it would sound bad if I agreed.

"No, it's okay."

"I never said that you could choose." I turn around with those words, he had that silly smile on his face. I simply responded with an "okay."

I didn't even noticed that I had fallen asleep.

"Hey Nat, we are here." My eyes start to open as I see him, my smile just grew on my face at the sight of him. He's blue eyes looking at me. I knew that I was looking like crap but I didn't give a fuck about it. Tomorrow was Saturday so I could sleep forever. I got out of car. When we enter the house, all lights were off.

"My fathers are in France, they are working." I don't have in mind doing anything with him, just sleep all the damn hours that I haven't slept. We went upstairs, Alex in front of me. His room was the last door of a long corridor. When we got there, there was a sing on the door that said «private, no girls allowed, keep quiet». I turned around looking at him like: are you kidding me?

"Yeah, no girl has ever been in my room." He opened the door for me. I never thought of where would I sleep until I saw that there was only one bed, one small bed. I feel like hell.

"Could I take a shower?"

"Yeah, of course." He smiles. There was a small door in the right corner of the little dormitory. The left wall was full of photos. I was surprised when I saw that most of the where of me and him... before that night. My hand on my mouth as I gasped in surprise. There it was, my favourite photo, me on top of him. My arms around his neck and my legs around his torso, his arms helping me not to fall. Me, smiling like ever and him... looking up at me with a small smile, the one that I love. I feel his arms wrapping around my waist. I jump at first.

"Hey hey, it's me... Alex."

"Sorry, I'm not accustomed. You know... I don't like people touching me. I've never hugged someone other than you after that night. I think they are secondary effects." I smile. His hands still on my waist and his chin on top of my head.

"I know that it looks creepy the fact that I have tons of photos with you in my wall... But you are my best friend." I like the fact that he only thinks that I'm his best friend. I prefer it that way.

"I like it." I shilly say. "Where's the bathroom?"

"Oh yeah, it's there." He points to the little door next to his bed.

"Thanks. Oh don't have any clean clothes..."

"I could lend you a big t-shirt?"

"Thanks."

I enter the bathroom. I open the water so it could get hot. I get out of the bathroom when done that.

"Which towel do I use?" I ask Alex.

"Here, this one." He opens a drawer and gives me a small towel.

"Thanks."

"Hey! Catch!" He throws me a big t-shirt. I catch it and got into the bathroom.

The hot water hitting my skin. It feels so good... It is relaxing me. It is here when I realise that I'm in Alex's house, in his dormitory. I quickly wash myself and get out of the shower. A knock on the door makes me jump.

"Nat, I need to brush my teeth." He says, I can hear him chuckle.

"Can't you wait?"

"Could I get the tooth-brush at least?"

I sigh in defeat... "Yeah" I wrap myself in the towel quickly, as I hear the door opening.

"I'm not looking, okay?" He is entering the bathroom with a hand in his eyes, not letting him see. I can't prevent myself from laughing. He looks stupid, but cute...

"Can you pass me-"

"Here you have, now get your but out of here."

"Thanks, babe." When he is gone, I put the clothes on. My hair is wet as hell, but I don't think he has a dryer. When I get out of the bathroom, Alex is sitting on the bed, admiring the wall. It's kind of weird that he doesn't have any photos up with Dana. Ugh, I hate her.

"I can sleep in the couch downstairs if you want..." I break the silence, his head turned to me as fast as ever.

"No, I can sleep in the floor and you can sleep in my bed. Okay?"

"This is your dormitory Alex, I can't sleep in your bed..."

"Remember when I told you that I wouldn't let you alone anymore, I meant it."

"Okay..."

"I'm going to get some blankets and a pillow. Don't go anywhere, okay?"

"Yes, daddy." I tease him. He gets out of the room laughing his head off.

After a minute or so, he returns with the things. He puts them just beside the bed and looks at me.

"Is this too close? Would you feel strange if I sleep in this room?" He knows that I haven't talked to a man after that night. Not even a proffesor. So he knows that, sleeping in the same room as me... Well I could feel uncomfortable. That night made me see life in another point of view.

"Nat... I can sleep somewhere else if you want, just say it..."

"No no, I was thinking, just that." I got into the blankets of the bed as he lays on the floor.

"What were you thinking about, huh?"

"That night..."

"Oh"

"Yeah... There isn't a damn day in which I don't think of it. I am going mad..."

"Don't say that..."

"Well, it's the truth..."

"The kiss... What do you think about it..." He surprises me by asking. What do I think about it?

"Just, please, don't talk about it."

"Okay..." I turn myself around, not facing him.

This night is going to be awkward... I can hear his breath...