"нope" [h.s.]

'yoυ'

Five days have passed since Harry went through the little boy that seemed confused. I haven't told anyone about it, even Harry thinks it was because I was 'tired'. It just keeps making its way into my subconscious. How the little boy gasped in surprised. How was it possible? Am I going mad? Only God knows. It's only been five days that the phenomenon occurred. But it doesn't leave me alone, I can't sleep, I can't eat, I can't even concentrate on anything. His pale face went from confusion to realisation and everything made sense, he was a gho-

"Nat, are you hearing me?" Alex interrupts my thoughts. I know that he is worried about me but hell, I'm going to turn seventeen in less than forty eight hours! I don't want to even think about my birthday, she isn't here with me to give me that smile that I had only used to see on my 'special day'. I miss her, I really do. I don't miss the mother that talks alone and speaks in different languages, I miss the mother that was there when something happened. The woman that used to lit my day. I miss her. I miss that woman. I know that she is dead but I can't stop thinking that maybe, just maybe, I could bring her back. I could bring the woman that used to have a precious smile on her face no matter what happened. The woman I could tell anything and trust her with even my life, but she betrayed and lied to me for I don't know how many months. She was taken into the dark and forgot about me. She betrayed me. "Nat? Are you okay?"

"Yeah, how is Dana?" He hasn't seen her in what looks ages. He has spent the entire five days with me. I don't need a babysitter, he knows that. I think he is worried I would do anything stupid. Harry just disappeared from my life. The last thing I remember of him is a goodbye. He said that he would send me a message but, nothing. I've send him a couple of "hi" messages but he is just dead. He hasn't even connected to what's app. I shall not say that I'm worried. On the other hand, he is probably with any girl throwing parties all day and all night. I need to get him out of my mind. I miss him but, I don't need him.

"She is okay but... I don't even know..." He rubes his face in frustration. What is happening with Dana?

"You can talk to me about it, you know?" I try to read his eyes but it's impossible. I see a mixture of sadness, anger, relief and frustration. He nods and gives me a tiny smile. "Spit." I urge.

"Well... I think we've kind of... Finished?" My stomach flips and I try to hide my enthusiasm. "I don't even know, she doesn't reply to my messages, nor phone calls. I don't know what's going on and it's driving me crazy. I wish I could just forget about her but... I can't. She is part of my life, just as you. I don't know what I would do if I lose her. I would be lost, totally and irremediably lost." He shakes his head, trying to shove his thoughts away. All the joy I had fades away.

"Can I make a point here?"

"Yeah." He looks at me.

"Go with her. You both need each other. I'm okay, don't worry about me. Just remember that if she isn't worth it, don't make a big deal about it. We learn through mistakes so go and spend the day with her." I offer him my best smile. I need to help him, he helped me. Now it is my turn, he deserves to be loved.

"You are the best, Little... You always know what to say or do, I don't know what I would be without you." He stands up and walks towards to the kitchen door. He turns round and gives me his cute smile that I haven't seen for a while. "Thanks." After nodding to me, he gets his keys and gets into his black Audi.

Alone. Once more. I put the kettle on and while the water is boiling, I run upstairs and grab my sketchbook. As I walk down the stair case, I hear a hissing, meaning that the water is ready. I search for a pencil in the sitting room, but nothing. Ugh. Why is everything so untidy? Gosh! As I enter the kitchen I find what I was looking for. A rubber and a pencil. Maybe I left them there last time. It doesn't mind, at least I found something to draw with. I pour the hot water into a mug and put in the tea bag. I love tea. I'm a tea maniac.