"нope" [h.s.]

panιc aттacĸ

"We need to get out of here. Now." Shit. I don't know what would be of me if anything happens to her. This can't be true.

"What? Are you okay?"Get the fuck moving Harry! I want to scream at him, to yell at him and throw him out of a bridge but I need him to take me home. Now.

"Get moving, Harry. Fuck. I can't believe this... Oh my god..." My voice trails off and we hurry out of the restaurant. Harry left a 50€ bucket on top of the counter. "Harry... I'm not feeling-" My knees can't hold my body any more and I feel how they bend, my world is crashing, bit by bit. I take a dark alleyway and crash my body against the freezing brick wall. I hug my knees. I can't breath, I need some air. My lungs feel heavy and I shut my eyes until a cold hand brushes my cheek.

"Come on, Nat. Breath. In and out. In and out. Slowly. I know you can do it, okay? What ever that text said, I know you can do it." His voice is just what I needed to hear. He is my medicine for this particular pain, he knows how to react and with one brush of his skin to mine, my body relaxes.

"She... They are taking her. I... Need..." I shut my eyes in pain by the luck of air in my lungs. It's like being drown, the bad thing about my slow drowning is that it's worst than hoping the air to return back to my lungs. The weight that is drowning me, leaves me drag air and then digs me into the water again, not letting me up and dragging me back. Every time my head is under water, it seems longer that the other. I don't know how much I will resist without air, the air that has been missing from my lungs for four months now. Every time a thread of light is seen in my fucked up life, the dark drags me even under. I know that I can swim my way to the top but, my body is heavy and I just want to close my eyes and stop fighting against everything. I want to wake up every morning and not think about the demons that are haunting me. I want to forget my past, I want to forget who I am. "Home... I need to go home." I finally manage to speak. He nods and helps me to my feet. I shut my eyes and try to breath slowly. "Come on. Run." I start to running my way to his car and he follows me. We get into the car and I rest my head on the window, willing for air.

"Nat, I'm taking you to a hospital."

"I'm being fucking serious, home. Now." He nods and I've never seen anyone driving so fast in my life. My nails dig into my jeans in pain and I just want to die. It hurts, it hurts so fucking much. That weight on my chest pressing harder and harder. I close my eyes as the pain gets even worse. I'm drowning in my own lungs. I need to fight, I'm not going to die because of an stupid asthma attack, I'm not that pathetic. I start to cough as the weight worsens and I drag my hand to my chest pressing it hard against it. My nails dig into the skin under my jeans and I know that blood is covering the tiny spot in them. I don't care, it's better because that pain distracts me from the bigger one.

"Nat please, breath."

"I... Can't..." I manage to say in a fainted whisper.

"Shit." He mumbles. We get to the entrance of my house, and there he is. As I see his blue eyes haunting mine, the world around me fades away and the nails that were digging in the skin of my leg disappear. My eyes die shut and I can't do anything about it, that's how pathetic I am. Drowning myself in my own lungs. That's how weak I am. That's how I will always be.

* * *

Harry's POV

I drag Natalie out of the car in my arms. Blood is visible in her jeans. Her body completely vulnerable to anything, to anyone. There is this boy in the entrance of the car park of her house. I know who he is, Nat's boyfriend, isn't he? Yeah the boy in the pics with her.

"What the fuck happened to her, dude!" He yells at me. "Who the fuck are you!" I'm not in the mood to hear any more of his stupid comments so I make my way to the door, not even looking back at him. Nat needs to breath, I can feel her willing for it. I feel how her tiny body tenses at the gasp for it. I need to help her but I don't know how. "Don't even think about getting her in there." He grabs my arm and I turn round.