"нope" [h.s.]

ғrιendѕ

The school gates are closed and I can't enter the fucking institute. I decide to text a message to my best friend.

<< I'm outside the school gate. Come here when you finish class>>

Thirty minutes have passed and I'm still freezing in the snow. My eyelids begin to close and the shivers begin uncontrollably. If I die, I'll kill Anthony. I sit down on a tree and try not to think about how cold it is. My eyes are heavier than ever and I can't resist closing them.

After what seems ages, I feel something warm in my cheek. I try opening my eyes but I can't. When I hear Alex's voice, I feel warmth covering every piece of skin in my body. I don't know what I would do or be without him. He is my best friend. He is the one who stopped my dad from doing what he was doing to me. He stopped his hands from my body. He is my angel. He is my everything. I still remember when he first told me that trees made paper. It was an unusual way of starting a conversation but from those few words, I knew that I liked him. We became inseparable, he was always there. I fell in love with his eyes, those blue eyes. I just liked him, it was instantly.

His words make me come to reality. When I open my eyes, he looks worried.

"Hey..." I say to him with a little smile, I think he is the only one that have seen me smile since that horrible day. "You've taken your time huh?" My weak smile doesn't leave my mouth.

"We had history, you know how the professor takes his time in explaining." Now, he is the one smiling. I'm thinking about going to sleep again but my eyes have already taken a choice. When they start to be close his voice penetrates against my spine and makes the shiver even worse.

"Don't. You can't sleep, blondie. Come on, it's freezing out here." He lifts me trying to put me on my feet but it seems impossible. When I get to stand up he is by my side, helping me not to fall. I can't feel my feet. It's such a horrible felling. When we get in the school, the air is hot and warms me up in seconds.

"Where are we going?" I say with a weak voice.

"To the girls bathroom. You need to change this wet clothes or you'll freeze." His blue eyes avoid mine while he helps me get to the bathroom.

"Wait here. I'll bring you some clothes" he says leaving me alone in front of a mirror. I can see the reflection of someone but I can't trust myself to believe that it's me. She has pale skin and purple lips. Her make-up all over her cheaks. When I trace my finger through my lips, I realise that that girl is me, myself. Blond haired girl with green eyes. I forgot what my hair looked like. After that night I changed my hair colour so he couldn't find me. Thinking that he could be alive after the accident, just made the nightmares even worse. The police never found his dead body. Would I live in peace if they had? All those hours trying to fool myself by repeating to my subconscious that that night was only a bad dream. I tried to be the same person I used to be, but it seemed impossible. It was impossible to close my eyes and not see those images.

I heard the door open and the noise brings me to reality again. He brings some clothes with him but they aren't mine, who are they? His? He is kidding me, isn't he? I'm not wearing men's clothes. But, fuck, it's freezing.

"Here, have this. It's better than those wet clothes."

"No thanks, I'm not wearing men's clothes."

"If you don't put them yourself, I'll will." He teases me and I take the clothes.

"Turn around" I command in a friendly way.

"Okay, it's not that I'm interested in seeing you naked or anything like it." He says, that stupid smile never living his mouth. I have to say that my best friend is hot. God, really hot. He's changed a lot, he was only bones a few years ago. He was a skeleton but now, after two years of being the football captain, he is really strong and those muscles are so damn hot. With his dark hair and those blue eyes. His physical image made him the most beautiful thing around me, every good thing in my life seems to disappear when they realise who I am. He is just my friend, I don't want anything more than that but he is just so... hot...