"нope" [h.s.]

нιм.

When I finish with my cup of coffee I stand up from the chair and leave the room. Is this how my life is going to be until the day I die? That's the damn question that keeps making his own way into my mind. Should I give up on trying? My life is shit, who the heck I am kidding? Maybe myself? When I enter the room I realised what the time was.

Ten to eight. I have an hour to get ready for hell, or how adults call it "school". The only thing that teaches you is how to get stressed or depressed. I'm not the typical person who cares much about their image or first impression, but everyone is fooled by that stupid blonde girl who loves shopping and being the cool one. I don't give a fuck what people think of me, really. My life is a storm which has lots of thunders.

I put my dark jeans and a grey sweater on and when I gaze out of my window I realise that it is snowing so I reach for my black sweatshirt. I can't decide between the white or black Converse. Finally, I kind of like the black ones better than the white ones. It's not that I like dark colours or anything like it. It depends on the weather. After applying dark makeup and looking at myself on the mirror for the hundred time I open my room door. I'm hungry but I only have twenty minutes to get to school. I serve myself an apple and reach for the door knob when my mother said not to come home too late. Whatever. I act as if haven't heard her and step out of the damn house. I know that she isn't going through the best period in her life, but that isn't my holy fault. I know that we only have each other but after five years can't she step out of the dark and stand for herself? Believe in a future. Look forward in life. She isn't the same after the accident. After his death. After that night. He left us. It was his own choice. His own mistake.

I find myself wondering how would have everything been if he hadn't had left us. If he didn't had committed the awful mistakes that he'd done. I shift the thoughts off my mind. I concentrate on the truth, on how things are and try not to dream of things that will never happen.

After a few minutes walking I hear a car, coming closer to me. I start to speed up on walking and try to focus on the school day ahead of me. A voice interrupts me and my thoughts. Fuck.

"Hey girl, did your father come back home? Oh, he is dead!" The stupid, brown haired boy shouts through the snow storm to me. I think he's called Anthony? I don't give a fuck about what the heck his name is and even less what he says, but he is pissing me off.

I walk past him as if I didn't hear him. He was driving near me, at my pace. He was really pissing me off.

"Oh, I didn't mean that, did I? Hahaha. Get on the track before you freeze girl!" I really can't stand him. He is such a freak. Does he have a life? I don't think so. I keep repeating to myself not to answer him. Near the school gate he treads the accelerator and the snow that was on the road covers me. I feel how the it contacts with my skin and freezes me. I'm soaked in seconds. Do I deserve this? Shit, hopefully karma will play a trick on him one day, and when that happens I will laugh so hard. I wish karma is hard on that asshole. After getting my books from the floor, I take off the snow from my tiny body. I'm ten minutes late and soaking. Fuck, I don't even know if the gates will be open. What have I done to the world to deserve this?

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(First authors note:

Hey guys! Hope you like it so far. Please don't forget to vote and to comment! It would mean a world to me if you could tell your friends about this book! Thanks guys!!)