How Far the World Will Bend

How Far the World Will Bend - Chapter 27

Chapter 27. Threading the Needle's Eye

As the months of her expectancy crawled by, Meg chafed under the boredom she faced every day. Without her routine at the clinic or daily interactions with her patients, she felt useless and un-tethered, as if she had no place or role to play in her current life. When she was with John, she felt contented and fulfilled, but she could not be with him every hour of the day. He had important work to do, and the improvements he was making at the mill were taking up most of his working hours and often kept him late at the office.

She had hinted to John that she could perhaps help with work at the mill, dropping suggestions about various areas where she felt she could contribute, but he had brushed her ideas aside, and she had left matters as they were, not wanting to argue or push him. He suggested instead that she spend some time furnishing the nursery, an idea that further added to Meg's leaden feeling. With the clinic not available to her, she had attempted to work in the lunchroom with Mary. However, when she observed how offended Mrs. Thornton was that the Mistress of Marlborough Mills worked in a common lunchroom, Meg decided it was not worth her while to cause resentment or hurt. It appeared that all avenues of productive enterprise were closed to her.

Mrs. Thornton was grimly pleased at the news of a forthcoming heir to the Thornton line. While Fanny was chafed at first that Meg had managed to conceive before she did, with time she came around and was full of plans to outfit both the infant's room and his or her person. She secretly believed that Meg was incapable of preparing for an infant, and had convinced herself that it was up to her to properly outfit her brother's child.

Most days, Fanny would arrive without warning and whisk Meg away on interminable shopping trips for bunting, wool, and nursery furnishings. Meg spent a great deal of energy warding off Fanny's selections of elaborate and incredibly expensive trappings. Meg gravitated to a simple cradle and bedding, and wanted to use some of her childhood furniture that was now stored in the Thornton's attic. This plan was greatly to Fanny's distaste, but a sharp word from Mrs. Thornton convinced Fanny to hold her tongue.

In spite of these spirited altercations, Meg was bored to the point of despair. She had always been an energetic worker, welcoming labor of all sorts as a way to channel her energy. The only freedom or occupation she was still allowed to enjoy were her walks in the countryside. Mr. Thornton and his mother had objected at first, until Doctor Donaldson interceded on Meg's behalf and insisted that a young, healthy woman such as his patient required exercise to keep her mind and body fit. To placate her husband and his mother, Meg would swaddle herself in shawls against any threat of chill, and set off to walk the fields and open spaces, come rain or shine. Aside from being in John's comforting arms at night, these were her happiest moments, and she hugged this freedom to her zealously as an antidote to the hours she spent in the dark, gloomy house.

She attempted to be brave, and struggled to shield her growing sadness from her husband with a high degree of success. She loved him so much that she did not want to distress him with her unhappiness; in point of fact, her low spirits over time had served to douse her rebellion against her situation. She braced herself for mind-numbing boredom for the remainder of her expectancy.

A surprise visit from Doctor Donaldson one afternoon found her gazing out the parlor window onto the courtyard, tracing raindrops with her fingers as tears fell from her eyes. After several minutes of observing her drooping posture and sad reflection in the glass, he cleared his throat and she spun around, surprised at his presence. She quickly wiped the tears from her eyes and smiled brightly at him. He asked several probing questions, and although she told him that all was well, she was just remembering her parents and wishing that they could be with her for the happy event, Doctor Donaldson knew better. After a scant half of an hour in her company, he was of the decided opinion that something must be done, and upon leaving Meg, he sought out Mr. Thornton in his office.