Mates of a Human

Part Two. Chapter Three. Alex.

Fear.

That was the first emotion to hit me after feeling a general hazy state of mostly nothing for so long. Any happiness had been muted to a light sense of contentment. Any sadness had been a mere acknowledgement of loss. Anger? Nothing more than a tiny static shock that came and went and left me wondering if I had ever felt it before. But love... love was particularly absent. Even thinking about Grandmama, I could not summon the emotion.

But after seeing the Doctor and the amazing blue of his eyes practically glowing in my world of muted grey all I felt after the initial shock was fear. He affected me, was shaking me to my smothered core and I could only think of one possible reason for that and that frightened me beyond belief.

At first, I could dismiss the feeling, who knew if I had imagined what I saw, right? Lots of people sniff the air in a hospital, the sterile scent of the ward that hits you the moment you step into it always causes reactions. To me, having spent so much time in and out of hospitals waiting for my mother or father (since he too worked in one for a while before developing his own practice) after school and when Grandmama was not available to look after me, it was a comforting smell. But to most, I suppose it was an uncomfortable scent that spoke of sickness and death, which is ridiculous in a way as a hospital was also very much about life.

Forgive me, I'm rambling again.

I didn't see him during the next couple of days, so I convinced myself that the feeling I had about him was an aberration. It was close to being three years since the rejection, I was probably just subconsciously aware of the date. And then, while wiping doors clean, I saw him talking to the new night nurse. She was all over him like a rash, which caused a surge of something else to stir deep within me. I refused to recognise it or acknowledge it, just wiped harder over the sticky prints left by a visiting child during the day. The little one must have been an immediate relative, they don't usually let children in here otherwise.

And then he turned and I caught a glimpse of his blue eyes and I knew I couldn't escape the fact that he was different, that he effected me. So seeing the truth was not letting me escape, I decided to flee. Having been raised close to wolves, I was far more attuned than the average human, I could hear the softness of his footfall, the hidden growl beneath his breath when he thought no one was listening. He also would not take the same route on his rounds as if stalking his territory and trying to catch others that meant it harm unawares. I already knew he was a wolf. No one keeps anything from Clover for long and the only unanswered question in my mind was why was he serving in a human hospital and not within the wolf pack?

"How about her?" The fresh blood this time were auxiliary nurses, agency staff, here today, gone tomorrow. Clover's mission to find me a partner was still underway. I shook my head, the dark skinned woman was stunning, even a visually impaired man like myself could see that. But towards her, I still felt nothing beyond that appreciation. Like looking at a work of art, thinking it was well painted or sculpted, but not wanting to buy it.

She sighed as her list for the afternoon had dried up. "Okay, I admit defeat today," she told me, patting my hand. "Here, I bought fresh biscuits."

"No, thanks, Clover," I said. What's the point of snacking when you couldn't enjoy the taste of what you were munching on? "I need to get back to work, I haven't finished cleaning the bathrooms on this floor yet."

"Are you sure?" She said waving the tin under my nose. The sweet scents assailed me, but I knew that no matter how yummy they smelled, they would taste like cardboard in my mouth. She began listing the tin's contents.

"Really, I am fine," I assured her.

"Is there chocolate chip?" Instantly, I froze.  He had finally managed to sneak up on me after two whole weeks of managing to avoid him.  I glanced up at the broad body shadowing me and into those blue eyes.  No matter how hard I tried to will the colour away, it remained.  I glanced back at Clover, but her eyes remained dark grey surrounding the black of her pupil.  Ugh, I really did not want to be here anymore.