Before Nibelhiem

Before Nibelhiem 13

Cloud walked up to the door with trepidation. He contemplated knocking but knew he would have to discard his helmet and didn't want to do so until he was safely indoors. So he gathered his courage, took one last look around to be sure no one was around and moved quickly inside. The moment he'd shut the door a wave of powerful nostalgia washed over him and he walked into the living space, eyes drinking in the familiar scenery.

His mother, in the kitchen, paused at the noise then she turned and stared at him. "Excuse me--"

Cloud could tell from her tone that she was trying to be polite but that she hadn't recognized him. He awkwardly scratched his head trying to come up with any excuse for him being there. "Uh?"

She took a few steps forward and her tone was demanding. "Yes?"

Committing to his promise he cleared his throat and removed his helmet, brushing his hair out of his face.

The woman in the orange dress blinked hard and leaned in but it wasn't enough. Her weight carried her forward several unbelieving steps. Was it possible? "Cloud!?" She stopped and gripped the chest of her dress wrinkling it fiercely to hold herself back. Her shaking hand reached out towards him but stopped. She was afraid to touch him; afraid that he might disappear. She bowed politely. "Welcome home, Cloud!"

He scratched his head again in embarrassment. "Hi, Mom."

Those words stole her strength and tears filled her eyes. She rushed into his arms squeezing him tightly. "Oh, my boy!"

Cloud was surprised when he was also overcome with emotion. There was nothing like this at Shinra. For the first time in a long time he was able to completely relax. It was as if he'd been on a long journey and although in his head he'd known he was home, until he was wrapped in his mother's loving arms he hadn't truly been at home. "I'm sorry, I haven't written." Cloud tried to apologize.

"Shh, shh." She hushed him. "Just let me hold you." She didn't let him go for a long time muttering to herself, "It's really you." Cloud closed his eyes to keep from crying. His throat filled with regret at having not kept in touch with her.

Finally, she stepped back still holding his hands then seemed to find herself. "Oh my. Come, come..." She pulled him farther into the house and sat him on the stairs where he used to sit as a boy whenever he'd get hurt and she was examining his injury. "Let me take a look at you!" Cloud abashedly looked away as she stood by his side and leaned in towards his head. "Hmmm..." She walked behind him commenting. "You're so handsome." She completed her circle then looked him up and down one more time. "So is this a SOLDIER uniform?"

He looked up but when their eyes met he had to look at the floor. "... Mom, I..." He cleared his throat. "I never made it into SOLDIER."

Her responding emotion was disappointment, but not the kind that Cloud had feared. It was more akin to pity; a disappointment at someone else on behalf of him. "I'm sorry, sweety." She gestured at the bed. "Why don't you rest. You look tired."

Instinctively he did as his mother asked and collapsed on the bed.  He still couldn't comprehend that he was back in his house.

She went to the kitchen and stirred whatever was on the stove for a minute before walking back over and examining him again in unbelief. "My, how you've grown." She watched him carefully. "I bet the girls never leave you alone."

Cloud scoffed staring at the ceiling. "...Not really."

She wandered to the bedpost. "...I'm worried about you. There are a lot of temptations in the city." She couldn't tell where his mind was since he didn't react. "I'd feel a lot better if you just settled down with a nice girlfriend." She continued.

"...I'm alright." He answered distractedly.

"You should have..." She pretended to think for a moment. "...an older girlfriend, one that'll take care of you." She raised her eyebrows but again he didn't respond. "I think that would be best for you."

Cloud sighed. Why was everyone trying to push him into relationships? "I'm not interested." He subtly put an end to the conversation.

She sighed and went back to her work in the kitchen. "What do you want to eat?" She asked over her shoulder.

More attentive after the conversation shift he sat up and walked over. "I don't know. Anything's fine." He shrugged.

Glancing back at him she asked, "Are you eating right?"

He nodded. "I'm all right. The Company takes care of me."

She sighed to herself feeling a melancholy fall over her. It wasn't that she wasn't happy that her son was doing alright on his own, but that he'd gone and grown up without her. She forced a smile before turning around. "Is that so? I know you can't cook... I've been worried sick about you." She almost begged him to need her.

"I'm okay, Mom, really." He insisted.

She sighed and returned her attention to the stove. "Alright. I just worry about you is all."

"You don't have to worry." Cloud reassured her then walked back over to the bed, sitting on the mattress. "I've got a friend in SOLDIER and he keeps telling me I can make it so..." He paused consoling himself. "I think I've got a chance."

"I'm sure you'll make it." His mother agreed. "Just give it a little more time."

"Yeah," Cloud's thoughts drifted to the promise he'd made to both Tifa and his mother. He needed to get stronger, join SOLDIER and make them proud. He resolved to redouble his efforts.