HUFFLEPUFF: Talk to him, it's what friends do
SLYTHERIN: Nope. I'm gonna wait 'til I'm on my deathbed, get in the last word and then die immediately
HUFFLEPUFF: That's your plan for dealing with this?
SLYTHERIN: That's my plan for dealing with everything. I have seventy-seven arguments I'm gonna win that way.
•••
HUFFLEPUFF: Did they hurt you?
SLYTHERIN: Yeah but don't worry, I'm working on my revenge.
HUFFLEPUFF: No you're not
SLYTHERIN: Look I know about Peace and everything but-
HUFFLEPUFF: No idiot, I'll do it, It'd be too obvious if you did it, they won't see me coming.
SLYTHERIN: .......are you okay?
HUFFLEPUFF: Never hurt a Hufflefriend
•••
SLYTHERIN: Honestly, I'm just so evil. So full of darkness. I feed off the souls of the living. I strike fear into-
HUFFLEPUFF: You sleep with a stuffed giraffe
SLYTHERIN: he is mY SeConD IN COMMAND IN MY ARMT OF DARKNESS
•••
RAVENCLAW: I'm cold.
GRYFFINDOR: Here have my jacket
HUFFLEPUFF: Hey I'm cold too!
SLYTHERIN: WHAT?! *takes of jacket* I fucking told you to bring more fucking layers but of course you didn't listen and now *piles scarves on Hufflepuff* I fucking have to make sure you don't fucking FREEZE TO DEATH, but you're allergic to sweaters, so what the fuck did I expect, and *takes somebody else's hat* how fucking long have you been cold?! You should've said something sooner.
•••
HUFFLEPUFF: Why do you feel the need to do such dangerous thing?
SLYTHERIN: Danger is my middle name.
HUFFLEPUFF: No it's not. Your middle name is Marie. Now please come down from the ledge.
