november 19
5:30 i was there
i waited for five minutes
then ten
then fifteen
i was about to get up and leave but you came
huffing and puffing pleasing forgiveness
in which i gave.
"changmin"
you said out of breath
"hm?"
"i'm sorry."
"is that it? is that all you've been wanting to
say this whole entire time? huh hwang hyunjin?
it's been 2 months of suffering without you."
"hear me out"
"i'm listening"
"come sit on the swings
then we'll talk"
i obliged
"look ba- changmin.
i'm the biggest fucking asshole right now i know.
but please let me make it up to you. i was in the wrong and shit, but all i did was ignore you. i know that's shitty to say but it's true. i know you hate me right now for leaving like everyone else did and i'm sorry. i don't know what got into me but chan told me everything that has been happening. everything
you have been saying. the habits you've developed
over the past two months, everything and i feel so
fucking guilty and at blame for it. it's my fault you're
suffering. so please let me make it up to you. please.
you have no idea how much i miss you. ask channie-hyung please."
"what if he says the opposite?"
"kick me in the balls"
he scratched his neck in the
attempt to lighten the mood
"i'll let you know what he says."
and with that i walked away before the tears
began to flow.
i walked myself to chan's house to confirm
everything and it turns out.
everything was true.
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i'm so sick and sad y'all don't understand
also i have a book idea but i dunno which member to do it on lmao
i hope you enjoyed this chapter i love y'all a lot
