Misguided Ghosts | TREEBROS

•Chapter 1•

Evan sat down in his first period class and kept to himself, he even risked looking like a loser by sitting at the desk in the corner. The teacher familiarized herself with the students and a particularly loud girl who sat at the desk beside Evan ripped him from his thoughts... again.

"Oh hey! You're Evan right?" She pauses, but not long enough for Evan to answer, "I'm Alana Beck, well you probably know that since i talked to you earlier." The girl rambles without purpose, so Evan just tuned her out. He was currently too busy thinking.

'He just seemed so hurt, but he's looked that way before did I just not notice it? My stomach feels strange when I think about it, and I really want to talk to him. It's just Connor though...' Evan sighs once he decides that there's no solution to this enigma.

"Connor Murphy?" Alana inquisitively asked. Evan jumped in surprise, then began to sweat profusely.

"I-I said that out loud..?" He subtly curled up and avoided eye contact, Alana didn't notice his nerves.

"Yes you did. If you meant Connor Murphy, I heard he's gay-there's nothing wrong with that. He might be, we're acquaintances, so I know him and from what I've seen I think he may be homosexual." Alana looks to Evan for a response, but he was just so lost with the direction this conversation was going.

"I-I just want to find what his classes are and... apologize," Evan sighed to himself, he just wanted to go home at this point but he had to talk to Connor before school let out... still Evan couldn't figure out why he wanted to talk to him so badly.

"He has all honor classes if that helps. I looked at his schedule this morning," Alana said with an accomplished smile. Evan pursed his lips and nodded his head at her words, maybe... just maybe they have a class together.

It was time for third period and Evan's mind had been so occupied with thoughts of Connor that he can't remember the name of his teachers without looking at the crumpled schedule in his hand. He had Zoe in his second period which would be a dream, but for some reason the feeling in Evan's stomach dominated his whole emotions. It screwed up his whole mindset, but Hopefully once it was gone Evan could admire Zoe from afar again?
...
The thought didn't seem as good as it should have been.

Evan absentmindedly enters the science lab and sees Connor sitting in the back corner, Evan's throat swells with emotions and he finds himself approaching Connor's desk.

'Oh no, if I sit next to him he'll think I'm following him or am a creep. But it will be weird if I get close to his desk and just sit close to him in this empty classroom. Am i doomed?' Evan's anxiety only heightened once he realized he sat next to Connor at the same desk. 'Shit.'

Connor looks to Evan with the same empty expression he usually has, but to Evan the bags under his eyes seemed more apparent-and so did the curls in his dark brown hair. The boy in the polo just smiles awkwardly, although he had many questions to ask as well as figure out some things. Connor slightly chuckles as he rests his cheek on his hand, Evan felt the feeling grow more intense so he subtly gripped the hem of his shirt and stayed silent.

Once students started entering, Evan remembered where he was and tensed. He was hoping Connor was still looking, so that he could still hopefully have a chance to talk to him. Then Evan saw Jared enter and tried to completely disappear, if Jared noticed he was here this could quickly become hell for everyone.

"Hey Acorn, don't think I didn't see you in 3rd period!" Evan shut his locker with a reluctant sigh as Kleinman quickly approached.

"J-Jared, I didn't-you were in that class?" Evan faked his ignorance.

"You sat next to Connor on purpose didn't you?" The boy pushed up his glasses slightly and smirked, "so you're in love with the other Murphy now huh?"

"What?! No! I just wanted to apologize to Connor for laughing at him this morning," Evan says as he nervously fidgets. He really wanted to leave this conversation.

"Connor deserves to be laughed at dumbnut. He threw a printer at a teacher, remember?" Jared replies with an eye roll, "the kid is batshit crazy,"

"I didn't, uh.. I don't think so," Evan forced out.

"Oh my god, you're so gay..." Jared lightly shoved Evan and leaves the anxious boy alone in the hall. With a dejected sigh he walks off in the opposite direction.

Evan sat in the computer lab after school had finished, he felt unaccomplished to say the least. Definitely disappointed in himself. He begins to type:

Dear Evan Hansen,

This wasn't an amazing day. This isn't going to be an amazing week, or amazing year, why would it be?

Well, there is this weird feeling in my stomach and I don't know how it makes me feel or what it even is, but maybe it will fix everything... or not. I wish I wasn't nervous when it came to talking to people or else things would be different, they'd be 'fixed'. But I know that if I can talk to

Evan paused, his hands frozen on the keys. If he wrote Connor what would his mother say? Or his therapist? Would his therapist think he had feelings for Connor, would he tell his mother? Evan took a deep breath and continued to type.

But i know that if I can talk to Zoe everything will be alright.
Sincerely, your best friend,
Me

Evan sighed and clicked the button that would print the letter. He reluctantly stood to go retrieve the paper, but as he kept his head down he bumped into someone.

"S-sorry," he whispered. When he glanced up he noticed Connor standing there with a paper in his hand, "C-C-Connor........"

"Huh? Oh, don't worry about it," Connor says with a shrug then looks to Evan as if waiting for a response.

"I, um.. I wanted to talk to you, but uh. I have to leave for something soon, so," he rambled on. Connor just raised an eyebrow and took out his phone, handing it to Evan.

"Then just put your number in my phone and tell me later. Even if you don't my parents will think I have friends," The tall brunette explained.

"Oh, okay," Evan slowly took the phone with his uninjured hand and began to type until he felt something grab his other arm.

"No one's signed your cast yet?" Connor inquired. Evan shakes his head, Connor reached into his pocket to pull out a sharpie then proceeded to write his name in big capitals across Evan's cast.

"Oh um... thanks?" Evan responds with a slight grimace, Connor shrugs again as he takes his phone back.

"Oh, hey. I found this on the printer, it's yours right? 'Dear Evan Hansen' that's your name right?" Connor asked with a slight tilt of the head. Evan just nodded and reached for the paper.

"I-It's just some stupid assignment... for something," Evan's hesitation gave Connor time to look down at the words Evan wrote. Connor's grip on the paper tightened. Evan held his breath as he felt fearful for what would come, the glance the tall boy gave him triggered a fight or flight response in Evan so he just ran off and left Connor with the note.

That night Evan laid in bed, his mind blank. This would have continued, but a buzz woke Evan from his trance.

'I still have your note Ev you never let me give it back' Evan held his breath once he realized it was from Connor.

'Ev?'

'do you not like the nickname'

'I do, it's just I didn't think I knew you well enough for you to give me a nickname.' Evan responds. He waits a few minutes and got no response, so he swallowed his pride and sent another text. 'Thank you for the name though, Con'

Still no response.