Treat You Better [A Divergent story]

CHAPTER 36

TOBIAS

I find myself thinking about Tris every time I'm idle. She still occupies my mind and the anger channeled towards her is going to make me ill one day.

I remember stealing glances towards her during the funeral. She was at the back, not exactly visible, but I could make out her petite figure and her blonde hair. She didn't come ahead to sit with us, but again, it was me who had finally pushed her off the edge.

I waned to do nothing but go to her and forgive her for everything. The desire was too strong. I wanted her to tell me I was wrong and everything I came to learn about her was a lie.

I had known Tris to be loyal and selfless all the time. Always putting others first. But she proved everyone wrong. The truth hurt.

I looked for signs of disloyalty from her in my mind, but there weren't any. She was so good at hiding everything, hiding her feelings. I wanted to kill Eric for taking her away from me. There was also a newfound anger towards Uriah because I somehow blamed him for changing her this way. She had been insecure for too long.

Christina had asked for her during the funeral and all I did was point Tris out who was leaning against a tree. She caught on quickly and I had to spill everything. I was surprised to know that they instantly believed that it was a fake photograph. No one wanted to imagine the sweet and innocent Tris would cheat on me in any form. I didn't either.

I wanted to get to the bottom of it all, wanting to approach Tris when I felt I had calmed down after me spilling out to our friends. I had explained briefly what had happened on the night Will had been admitted in the hospital. His body couldn't support him for long and gave up a little after midnight. Christina was a mess even then and I had a feeling that I had to comfort her in Tris's absence.

I wanted to be rude to the newfound happy pair when we all were mourning Will. I wanted to pull that blond man away from her, but that wouldn't sit well with the ind of audience it would attract. Who was I to question who Tris left with? I just hoped she would come ahead and do the minimum of paying her condolences. But she had been broken so many times by the lot of us that she probably couldn't find it in herself to face us.

Things had changed; more for me than others - maybe even for Christina. Everyone was rooting on them to get married first out of the couples that existed in our friend circle. They had been in love for so long that there was no inkling of them ever breaking away.

The house was empty without Tris. I had resorted to cleaning up myself and doing the cooking. I had given the housekeeper a long vacation. It helped by keeping me busy. My mind didn't wander too much and I was used to the quietude due to past experiences with Marcus. The silence was often better than the storm I had to face before. But not with Tris. The sky was always clear when I was with her.

I can't say that I didn't burn a few things here and there when I was too deep deploring what I had we had done to us. My hand also wandered to the phone, trying to 'accidentally' call her up or send an accidental message so I could hear her.

After Marcus, I reflected that there will always be a darkness in my life. A lack of the satisfaction expected from it. That opinion went away when Tris became something more to me in the last few years where I had to deal with Marcus. Now, I can only register that warmth doesn't take time to extinguish.

________________________________________________

Just a filler chapter. There's more coming up. Hopefully, I'll updated soon. No promises!