Treat You Better [A Divergent story]

CHAPTER 39

New Year's Eve

TOBIAS

Our contact breaks with Nita joining us. Our eyes follow her as she walks over to me and smiles giddily as she takes my arm.

"What's taking so long?" She grins up at me. I'm getting uncomfortable at her ease and I sigh. I'll have to get it out now if I expect her to know that I don't hold mutual interest in her.

I see Tris chewing her lip and looking resigned from the corner of my eye.

"Nita," I take her arm wrapped around mine and gently disconnect us, stepping back a little.

Tris turns to watch us again, looking curiously. "I'm sorry, I'm not interested in the same way you are. Forgive me if I've ever given you the notion unknowingly, I never intended to."

"Oh," Nita says. She looks embarrassed. Tris's presence might not be helping either, but I needed her to know that she's the only one who holds my desire.

"I thought..." Nita looks around and then at Tris with narrowed eyes. "It's her, isn't it?"

Her rhetorical question takes me aback. Her tone is accusing and I've never seen her change a stand this quick.

"Yes, it's me," Tris crosses her arms and scowls, Nita's comment not appreciated.

"All due respect, Nita," I say, trying to diffuse the situation. "Please be courteous of my feelings, regardless of whether there's someone else or not."

Nita huffs and turns to me with pursed lips. I decide to say more. "You're welcome to stay or leave. I'm sorry if this spoiled your evening in any way."

She leaves the kitchen and shortly we hear the door closing, signaling that Nita left.

I shake my head and Tris raises and eyebrow, both of us smiling wryly.

"I wouldn't blame her for wanting to stake claim," she munches on the chips.

"What does that mean?" I ask, cocking my head to the side.

"You really are clueless," she giggles sweetly. I've never been more attracted to her and every day is filled with a new intensity.

"Look at you," she continues. "This vessel that you reside in."

We've again moved closer and she puts her hands on my chest, making a zing pass through me that I've not felt in ages. My hands hold her arms to me.

"This is giving me an existential crisis," I chuckle at her. "Vessel? Are you drunk?"

"No, silly. You are just so handsome, there are no words."

My cheeks feel warm as we grin at each other. Her short height has become quite apparent from here as I have to look down at her and she leans up.

"Handsome is a word last I checked," I try to hide my elation at her unattempted confession.

I've never seen myself as good-looking. Every time I see myself in the mirror, my father's eyes stare back at me. I also have my mother's hooked nose, not the most attractive quality but it's alright.

My ears stick out too, I don't know who I got that from - maybe an ancestor that I never got to see. Marcus had control over who we came in contact with, probably in fear of us telling the truth of our situation.

But to know that Tris likes how I look, my insecurities somehow fade away.

"I would tell you you're beautiful... but that would be a lie, you're so much more than that," I smile, feeling my emotions surface and put my lips on her forehead, closing my eyes.

"Can we go somewhere else?" Tris asks and I wrap my arms around her, resting my chin on top of her golden head and nod.

I pull away and take her hand. We stop when we see more people than before in the living room, some more arriving and people don't stop trickling in.

I sigh, so much for a small get together. Well, it's Zeke after all and I wouldn't expect anything less. Sometimes frustrating, most times he's good at keeping up everyone's spirits. Shauna might probably the only one who can keep up with him; besides his brother, of course.

"Pedrads," Tris shakes her head, voicing my thoughts. I chuckle, "yeah."

Someone bumps into me. "Sorry. Hi Four."

It's Cara, Will's sister. Didn't expect to see her at all.

I must look confused as she explains, "I thought I would just show my face, I lost my brother and all of you lost a friend. I regret it now."

I take a deep breath. Was there a stipulated time frame for mourning someone? And did she have to rub it in our faces. Everyone is trying hard to move past it; Will's absence is still felt. But it's not like us to acknowledge the elephant in the room and sometimes it's for the best.

We supported each other through it all. I feel a pang in my chest when I remember that we weren't there for Tris who didn't deserve any less of our support.

But Cara shouldn't be here, trying to undo how our coping about the event that happened a month before.

My eyes follow her as she moves to Christina. They greet each other normally and none of the cruel words are repeated.

That's when I feel Tris tugging her hand away from me. I look behind and in the low lights I see her wipe her glistening cheeks and sniffing.

"Hey, hey," I coo softly and move to envelope her. Cara recognised her and her words were definitely meant to sting Tris specifically, who blames herself for Will's demise.

"It's not your fault," I assure her.

"I shouldn't be here," she says with a quiet sob in my chest, no one paying attention in the busy house.

I take Tris's hand and pull her along to go outside in the spacious garden where only a few people had migrated from the party inside.

"Tris, look at me," I say, her wet eyes meeting mine and my own softened. "Will, in a split second, decided that you had to be there to see another day," I tuck a few strands of her hair behind her ear. "Why should it be difficult to accept that you deserve to be here with us - with me - today, as much as he did.

"Do you think we'd be any less fucked up if it were you in his place?" I could feel my eyes glistening. Tris looked through the window to see Christina and Cara sobbing in their embrace.

"Christina..." Tris sniffed and looked back at me. "She was angry at me. You were, too."

"Tris, we'd have lost someone irrespective of who it was. Christina loves you, in a different way, but just as much."

I purse my lips, continuing. "I was angry at you for the wrong reasons. I'm so sorry, I almost lost you and even then-" I take a deep breath to gather myself and gulp through the tight feeling in my throat, signaling that I was going to tear up.

Tris buried her face in my chest as it hit me even harder than before that it was a miracle she was here with me. I need her in my life and I took it for granted, initially. It needs to stop.

"I love you, Tris," I whisper so only she can hear. She clutches me tighter and I know that she heard me. I kiss her temple.

She pulls back and smiles up at me, biting her lip. It's the first time I've told her that I loved her and it's her way of acknowledging it. I needed to tell her.

"We're a mess," she sighs as she tries to wipe her eyes and snot with a giggle. I chuckle and wipe her face with a handkerchief as she adorably groans in annoyance of the manhandling.

I take her hand to guide her with me to the empty park nearby for more privacy. There's a new lightness in our steps, our faces brighter.