A Thing, Beyond Forever

13.

Yazan's mom somehow managed to convince my mom about me and Yazan studying together under her surveillance. She was actually capable of doing wonders. 

Before leaving to go at his place, Mumma would warn me a thousand times not to do anything inappropriate and to not make any mischief. As if I was not fifteen but a seven year old all over again. 

The first time I went to his place. It was actually a bungalow. Well decorated with different kinds of flower pots in the boundary of the door and inside there was a huge chandelier. A staircase to the first floor where Yazan's room was and on the rolling of the staircase there were dandelions. It was the most beautiful house I had ever seen in Hyderabad. The more I spent my time studying at his place every other day, the more I started to use his home as my escape. I looked forward to going to his place after school. I began studying more and practising more just so that I could go to his place with my doubts and let him explain me. We talked a lot about many things. From our views on how our teachers teach to sharing each other's childhood stories. 

He had become a close friend of mine just like my girls. There wasn't anything unknown to him that was known to them. Except for my crush on Nouman. I just couldn't afford to tell anyone about this little secret of mine. 

"Zukroof, if you don't mind can I ask you something?" Yazan spoke one day after we had just finished solving our maths assignment. 

I was collecting papers and keeping it in my folder as I replied distractedly, "You have already asked one, may as well continue" I smiled. 

"How come you don't have a boyfriend?"

I smiled at his innocent question. "I think the answer is in your question itself" 

He drew his eyebrows in confusion, "What does that mean?"

I sighed. "Does it even look from my face that any guy would be interested in making me his girlfriend?"

He continued to keep the same expression. "Why not? what's wrong with your face?"

I shrugged with my lips curled out. "I don't know. Maybe you should try asking the boys in your class if anyone has ever been interested in me" 

He ran his fingers through his hair as he continued to speak in a normal tone. "I am not aware of all the boys but I think one of them is" A little smirk playing across his lips.

"You are kidding" I chuckled.

"No. I am not" His smirk grew bigger. 

I rolled my eyes. "Okay, I get it. Now you are just trying to flirt"

He threw his head back and laughed. "You wish, Miss Hussain. You wish"

"I don't" I mimicked his tone. 

"I was talking about Nouman," He said as he continued to laugh.

My heartbeat dropped and my smile faltered. Whose name did he just take?

I pretended as if I didn't listen and started packing my bag.

 "What happened? No reaction?"

"Because I know you are kidding. Enough of this discussion please"

"No, I am not. I think he does like you" 

"Yeah, right. You think?"

"I mean, I know"

"Did he himself told you that?" 

"No"

"Then? Stop making stupid assumptions alright?" I said as I shouldered my bag "Anyway. Good luck with your exams and thank you for the help!" 

He didn't say anything but just nodded. I gave a tight smile and left the room. On my way out of his house, gave greetings to his mom. 

My way back home totally went into oblivion. 

Did Nouman really like me? Well...he never showed interest. If he was, he would have gone ahead and proposed to me. I don't think that's true. I don't think any of what Yazan said today was true. He is new to the school. What does he know? 

I explained myself again and again not to believe Yazan's words. But there was a flicker of hope in my heart that just couldn't give up. I logged into my Facebook and texted Nouman as anyone would text. Casual and up to the point. As if I really wanted to know about the details of the next Inter-house competition and not what was going on in his mind and what he had in his heart for me.

Here's what I know about myself. I know I don't have someone I can call my boyfriend. I don't feel the need to have one but at the same time, I won't say no if someone were to propose me. I look at how Noor smiles when Faisal looks at her from a distance. Like something exchanged between the two that I wasn't aware of. And the same goes on between every other couple I know from school. I don't know how it feels when a guy gifts you your favourite chocolate or even when they say they love you for the first time. All of that is blurry and like a dream to me.