𝐛𝐫𝐨𝐤𝐞𝐧 𝐦𝐢𝐫𝐫𝐨𝐫𝐬

005 - euphoria

euphoria
《 yo͞oˈfôrēə 》
noun
a feeling or state of intense excitement and happiness.

—IRENE
I walked idly with Jin as he lead me to his dorm. I pondered quickly on why he would want keep an photo of me, it's not like the world cared about me to give me some luck. All they ever given me was misfortune. I had to work for my dreams and some were handed it so simply.

Maybe I should have left and disappeared entirely. But I am so happy right now, I don't want to leave. I wanted to sit there and just converse with Jin. My life would be so much simpler if I could hide away from the publicity. Then the cons would come, I would lose the girls, the fans and everything that held me together in this maddening world.

And sometimes I ask myself this little question 'Is everything I experienced or think just a dream? Will I wake up and everything would disappear?' In this moment I doubt it, I doubt the happiness I'm feeling right now. Just sitting and talking to a person, the light happiness I feel right now. Is this really real? I ask myself that question so much it makes my head dizzy.

I sit down on the dining table and Jin places down a drink on my table. Tea. "You looked cold earlier, I thought you might have wanted something warm to drink." Jin said as he pulls the chair out so he could sit down. "Thanks, I did feel slightly cold." I reply taking the warm cup and cradling it in my hands.

The steam flowed out of the cup and warmed my face causing my face to flush. The night grew later, and Jin said to me "Irene, close your eyes I'm about to present you with your surprise." Just as Jin said that footsteps came and a voice called out in the empty dorm "Hyung? Is that you?" My eyes widen. That w-was Taehyung's voice. "Jimin? Jungkook?Oh it's you Taehyung." Jin called out. "Yup, oh, hi Irene Noona." Taehyung said.

Taehyung just had to come at this moment. When all things were going well. Everyday there was something beautiful and euphoric that happened to me and then people step on it, crush it till it flies away and disappears. And that what was happening right now. Taehyung was the 'person' and I was just me. The person who always lost everything happy in her life. I tried, I really tried to grip onto the happiness tightly but in the end it falls, falls, and falls into that bottomless pit.

His eyes linger on me for just a second and then he opens his mouth "Hyung you're making dinner, can I have some?" Jin my dearest friend, and also shining knight in armor saved me, like every other time I almost fell into the bottomless pit of my insanity. "No, this is only for Irene, go find some food yourself." Taehyung then tried to do some aegyo on Jin. Thump thump. My face began to turn redder then before. My heartbeat vibrated through my body, I couldn't love him still. I just couldn't.

"No, you still can't have any even if you do aegyo." Seokjin's voice echoed through the room.

—JIN
"No. You still can't have any even if you do aegyo." My voice echoed through the room.

I looked over at Irene, her face flushed even more. Her sclera red, and quivering lip. Irene took a deep breath and breathed and just like that the quivering lip and red sclera disappeared. The flushed face too. Irene Bae, the girl who was called a goddess couldn't control something like love. She was my dear friend and I had to protect her. At the same time I have to protect myself from falling for her. Or did I?

—IRENE
I want this to be a dream. I want this reoccurring event to be a dream. I wish for him to disappear out of my life like he disappeared out mine. He was still there, standing, even begging. I couldn't take it anymore. "Taehyung, please gladly join us." What have I done? Why did I invite my ex to eat dinner with us. My eyes drifted toward Jin, he looked a little angry. I'm so sorry Jin for how hard you'd tried to stop Taehyung from joining us I instead invited him.

We ate in complete silence. Only the sounds of the dropping of chopsticks and other noises of utensils. And finally Taehyung stood up. His chopsticks where placed down food was gone from the bowl. "Thanks for the dinner Jin Hyung, even though you weren't kind enough to just invite me to eat and Irene Noona had too, I'm going out now."

"Where are you going?" Jin said placing his chopsticks down.

Grabbing his jacket, Taehyung said "Out with my girlfriend."

He had a girlfriend. A girlfriend, someone who was in a romantic relationship with him and not as a friend. My heart lost its feeling, I didn't feel it beat for a while. Why wouldn't he have a girlfriend? It's been a while. He grabbed his belongings and left. Once the door was shut, Jin said in an angry voice, "Irene, why did you invite Taehyung? You know in the back of your head he was going to make you cry with his careless words!" He slammed the table.

At that moment I was never that scared of Jin. My irises grew, I tried to think of something that would calm him down. But I couldn't I kept recalling what Jin said "[..]with his careless words!" His careless words. Jin was right everything, Taehyung said was careless and lacked of thought just like what he said to me before.

"A mirror something so delicate, like you, but when you cry you are like a broken mirror, so I hate to ever see you cry."

He hated to see me cry. But right now I was in front of a furious Jin with tears streaming down my face. He lied, like every person I knew. But my heart only ever beat for Taehyung, it unwillingly belonged to him and only him. The tears flowed down quicker then before a new one coming from eye every second. Maybe I needed him, but did he really need me? He answered it for me that day as he broke up with me.

Jin calmed down after seeing me in this state. After all I was supposed to be pitied because just like he said "I am a broken mirror." I wiped my tears. And took a deep breath like I did so many times before to stop me from falling into the bottomless pit.

I opened my mouth and said

"Jin let's date."